Late in the morning of the Tuesday that changed everything, Lt. Heather "Lucky" Penney was on a runway at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland and ready to fly. She had her hand on the throttle of an F-16 and she had her orders: Bring down United Airlines Flight 93.
The day's fourth hijacked airliner seemed to be hurtling toward Washington. Penney, one of the first two combat pilots in the air that morning, was told to stop it.
What she didn't have as she roared into the crystalline sky was live ammunition. Or missiles. Or anything at all to throw at a hostile aircraft.
Except her own plane. So that was the plan.
Because the surprise attacks were unfolding faster than they could arm war planes, Penney and her commander went up to fly their jets straight into a Boeing 757.
"We wouldn't be shooting it down. We'd be ramming the aircraft," Penney recalls of her charge that day. "I would essentially be a kamikaze pilot."
For years, Penney, one of the first generation of female combat pilots in the country, gave no interviews about her 9/11 experiences (which included, eventually, escorting Air Force One back into Washington's suddenly highly restricted airspace).
But 10 years later, she is reflecting on one of the lesser-told tales of that endlessly examined morning: how the first counterpunch the U.S. military prepared to throw at the attackers was effectively a suicide mission.
1st female F-16 pilot in unit
Penney, now a major, is no longer a combat flier. She flew two tours in Iraq and she serves as a part-time National Guard pilot, mostly hauling VIPs around in a military Gulfstream. She takes the stick of her own vintage 1941 Taylorcraft whenever she can.
But none of her thousands of hours in the air quite compare with the urgent rush of launching on what was meant to be a one-way flight to a midair collision.
She was a rookie in the fall of 2001, the first female F-16 pilot ever at the 121st Fighter Squadron of the D.C. Air National Guard. Her father flew jets in Vietnam and still races them. Penney got her pilot's license when she was a literature major at Purdue. She planned to be a teacher. But during a graduate program in American studies, Congress opened up combat aviation to women and Penney was nearly first in line.
On that Tuesday, they had just finished two weeks of air combat training in Nevada. They were sitting at a briefing table when someone looked in to say a plane had hit the World Trade Center. When it happened once, they assumed it was some yahoo in a Cesna. When it happened again, they knew it was war.
In the confusion of those first hours, it was impossible to get clear orders. Nothing was ready. The jets still carried dummy bullets from the training mission.
As remarkable as it seems now, there were no armed aircraft standing by and no system in place to scramble them over Washington. Before that day all eyes were looking outward, still scanning the old Cold War threat paths for planes and missiles coming over the polar ice cap.
"There was no perceived threat at the time, especially one coming from the homeland like that," says Col. George Degnon, vice commander of the 113th Wing at Andrews.
Things are different today, Degnon says. At least two "hot-cocked" planes are ready at all times, their pilots never more than yards from the cockpit.
'I'm going for the cockpit'
A third plane hit the Pentagon, and almost at once came word that a fourth plane could be on the way, maybe more. The jets would be armed within an hour, but somebody had to fly now, weapons or no weapons. "Lucky, you're coming with me," barked Col. Marc Sasseville.
They were gearing up in the preflight life-support area when Sasseville met her eye.
"I'm going to go for the cockpit," Sasseville said.
She replied without hesitating. "I'll take the tail."
It was a plan. And a pact.
Their jets were soon screaming over the smoldering Pentagon, heading northwest at more than 400 mph, flying low and scanning the horizon. Her commander had time to think about the best place to hit the enemy.
"We don't train to bring down airliners," said Sasseville, now stationed at the Pentagon. "If you just hit the engine, it could still glide and you could guide it to a target. My thought was the cockpit or the wing."
He also thought about his ejection seat. Would there be an instant just before impact?
"I was hoping to do both at the same time," he says. "It probably wasn't going to work."
Penney worried about missing the target if she tried to bail out. "If you eject and your jet soars through without impact . . . " she trails off, the thought of failing more dreadful than the thought of dying.
But she didn't have to die. She didn't have to knock down an airliner full of kids and salesmen and girlfriends.
It would be hours before Penney and Sasseville learned that United 93 had already gone down in Pennsylvania, an insurrection by hostages willing to do just what the two Guard pilots had been willing to do: Anything. And everything.
"The real heroes are the passengers on Flight 93 who were willing to sacrifice themselves," Penney says.