Get relationship past 'insistent flirting'
DEAR AMY: I have two best guy friends. Both of them are straight. I am gay. They are pretty open-minded about having a gay best friend. However, both of them allow me to flirt with them insistently. Things even went to another level with one of them. I don't know if they are playing mind games with me because they are in denial about their sexuality, or if they think my feelings are just a joke -- you know, the whole "ha-ha, my gay best friend likes me" thing. I'd like to have a relationship with one of them, but at this point, if they can't be comfortable with themselves, what would be the point?Confused But Not Really
DEAR CONFUSED: I don't really see sexuality as being the primary factor. This is more about honesty -- yours and theirs. Do you have no responsibility for your own behavior?
Is "insistent flirting" the only way you know to relate to men you care about? You seem to be toying with your friends as much as you think they are "playing" you.
If you want to have a sexual relationship with your one friend, you should do something more challenging than flirting with him and passively hoping he'll reciprocate (making you angry when he doesn't) -- you should be brave enough to talk to him.
DEAR AMY: I'm a junior in high school. A close friend recently invited me to follow her blog. I've come to realize that she's posting more and more about being fat (she's not, at all) and about starving herself. She just told me that she has clinical depression, which makes me think this really might be serious. I really love her and try to tell her that as often as possible, but aside from that, I have no idea what to do.Very Worried
DEAR WORRIED: Your friend's blog is a semipublic cry for help. I urge you to notify your school nurse, the school counselor and your parents about what you are reading. She needs adult help.