Grandpa's dating grosses her out

Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

bio | email

DEAR AMY: I am 12 years old and I love my grandpa very much. He has been married and divorced twice, and now he is single. He is seeing two women at the same time. One of his girlfriends, "Kathy," is more than 30 years younger than my grandpa! The other girlfriend, "Debbie," is closer in age. I've known her my whole life. Both girlfriends know about each other and don't seem happy about it. He brings them to family get-togethers (one on one day, the other on the next), and one or the other of them is always at his house when I visit him. I used to love going to my grandpa's house, and I still love seeing him, but I do not enjoy seeing the girlfriends every time we hang out. There is a lot of drama because Kathy will call repeatedly or show up when it is Debbie's "day," and then there's lots of slammed doors and crying. Recently I went to his house to spend the night, which all of the grandkids used to do often. That night Kathy was there, and they were in his study while I was watching a movie. When the movie ended, I knocked on the study door, but no one answered, so I opened it and I saw them on top of each other making out (fully clothed, thank God, but still)! My dad has confronted him many times, but my grandpa does not listen. I know I have no right to tell him not to date them, but all I want is to spend time with him without the girlfriends. Amy, how can I tell my grandpa to not bring them around?Grossed-Out GranddaughterDEAR GROSSED-OUT: You are correct that you cannot tell your grandfather how to run his dating life.

You can, however, tell him how his choices affect you. Tell him, "Grandpa, I miss you. It's pretty awkward for me when one of your girlfriends is always around. Can we do something alone together some time -- like the old days?"

I agree that your grandfather's house doesn't sound like a great environment for you to hang out in.