How best to get roommate to pay some bills - Newsday

How best to get roommate to pay some bills

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Ask Amy Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist. ...

DEAR AMY: I've been living with a roommate for eight months now, and I'm not happy with how things have turned out. We get along really well. It's just that now I am paying all the bills -- rent, groceries, gas, etc. I feel like I'm being used for my money and to support her and her 1-year-old daughter. This is stressful. I just got her a new job, working for the same company I work for but at a different location. Still, I feel like I'm going to end up taking care of the bills once again and I can't do it anymore. I don't have the money to help her out anymore. I'd feel bad if I moved out because she wouldn't have any place to go. She could go to her mom's house but they don't get along very well. I feel pressured to stay here because I am the kind of person who likes to put others before myself but I know it's time to take care of me now. I just don't know what to do. My grandmother and my mother both told me that I need to get out of this situation, but what do you think I should do? --Stressed Roommate

DEAR STRESSED: The most logical answer is for you to treat your friend like a grown-up, while also respecting yourself more.

It sounds like you have been a real hero here. Single moms with young children need all the love, support and friendship they can get -- but you cannot do it all for your friend. You simply must take care of yourself.

If you respond to this pressure by moving out, your friend will pack up and find someone else to pay the bills. This will not be good for her, or her daughter -- or for you.

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She is working now (thanks to you), so you two should sit down together and split the bills fairly. If she can put some bills in her name (utilities, for instance), she will be responsible for paying them on time -- and will build up good credit by doing so. Succeeding at this will be good for both of you. If she cannot agree to reasonable terms (and keep them), then you should definitely move on.

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