Lack of intercourse not an issue for her

Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

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DEAR AMY: I have been living with my guy for four years. We really care about each other, enjoy each other and have immense respect for each other. However, we are not sexually intimate. We have not had intercourse in nearly two years, and I am pretty much OK with this because, to me, while sex is important, it is not the ultimate criterion for happiness in a relationship. When I attempt to share this part of my life with my friends, they react in complete astonishment that we are not intimate. They say he is cheating because it is unheard of for a man to go without sex. So, if he isn't making love to me, he is doing it elsewhere. Sometimes these comments can be hurtful, and I wonder, am I being naive?Unsure

DEAR UNSURE: You are not being naive -- your friends are harboring incorrect assumptions about what is "normal." If you and your guy are both happy in your loving but sexless relationship, then I'd say you are both very lucky. You only need to examine your own needs and desires and then endeavor to have the relationship that feels right to you. You sound somewhat ambivalent -- and this is the feeling you should explore.

The person to discuss this with is your guy, not your friends.

DEAR AMY: Responding to the "Worried Grandma," whose pregnant daughter had a rambunctious and territorial Labrador retriever, I have had three very energetic Labs. They need to have serious obedience training to become good family members. Even very small dogs can bite and cause injury if not trained or if stressed too much. Consistent and ongoing training will transform this dog. My Labs were very tolerant of my nieces and nephews, and sometimes better behaved than they were! Please suggest to your reader that she give her daughter a gift certificate for obedience training classes for her dog.A Lab Lover