She sees a threat to her 'flirtationship'
DEAR AMY: For the past year, I have been in a "flirtationship" (so to speak) with a guy. We talk almost every day. I really like him, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, too. We're practically dating, but we've never made it official. In two weeks, he leaves on a trip to Europe, but he's staying with a girl! He assures me that they are not romantically involved, but I'm afraid that in a beautiful foreign country, he might lose sight of what we have here. Should I talk to him about this, or will he just think I'm being uncool? Please help! Sleepless
DEAR SLEEPLESS: You could talk to him about this, but it would be "uncool" to do so.
You have a nice flirtationship going. It might lead somewhere in the future. But the cool thing would be to sit back a little and let him be the one to worry about what might happen in his absence.
You cannot do anything about his choices. You do not have the standing to make declarations about who he stays with or what he does while he's away. If you two talk each day, he will miss you. Let him.
Believe it or not, this trip could be good for your relationship. Absence really can make the heart grow fonder, even when the feet go wander.
DEAR AMY: "Daughter" wrote to you about her fractured family. She did not want to associate with her father's third wife because the woman had cheated on the father and had a baby as a result of the affair. She said her father was staying in the marriage and helping to raise the child because "he takes his marriage vows very seriously." Amy, I agreed with everything you said in your answer, except the first line, where you said, "He can't take his marriage vows all that seriously if he's on his third marriage." You don't know the circumstances.Faithful Reader
DEAR FAITHFUL: You are right. Other readers made the same comment. I apologize.