DEAR AMY: You wrote this sentence in response to "Heartbroken": "Interventions should be guided by an addiction specialist -- otherwise even the most dedicated attempt may backfire and have serious (unintended) consequences." Many years ago, a longtime friend was part of a staged intervention for someone whose alcoholism was out of control. Since then, she has conducted her own "interventions" on people whose behavior did not please her. I was one of those people; she called a meeting to confront "your obesity" after I had gained weight. Her daughter-in-law was another one; she called a meeting to confront "your addiction" when she felt her daughter-in-law spent too much time and money shopping. I was so startled, I avoided her for several years. Neither of us changed the behavior that bothered her. Moral of the story: Leave interventions to those who are trained and know what they are doing and what's appropriate.--Been There
DEAR BEEN THERE: Exactly. Otherwise, an intervention is just a power play.
--Ruth in Rochester
DEAR RUTH: Thank you.