Unwise to pursue crush on your professor

Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

bio | email

DEAR AMY: I just finished my first semester of college. One class I had was very meaningful because a guy and I exchanged smiles and constant eye contact. He was my professor. I visited his office during the semester, and I swear there was flirting, but I'm really bad at deciphering that type of stuff. We cracked jokes, and it was a comfortable environment. Today I went to see him to go over my final paper. After we went over my paper, he kept the conversation going. I, probably overthinking it, read between the lines and imagined he was interested in me. He also encouraged me to stop by if ever I was passing through the building. That just made me have a bigger crush on him. Do you think he has feelings for me? I want to let him know of my feelings, but I want it to be subtle (but obvious enough for him to get the hint). But at the same time, I don't want to ruin the good relationship we already have as teacher/student.

--What to Do?

DEAR TO DO: I do not think this professor has romantic feelings for you. The two of you have a nice rapport, but building a positive relationship with students is part of what teachers do.

I can't recommend that you should hit on your professor; this would be a potentially terrible choice on your part. Furthermore, if he chose to have a romantic relationship with you, it would show poor judgment on his part, jeopardizing his career and your college experience. Save your romantic energy for a fellow student.

DEAR AMY: The letter from "So Sad" about the death of a cat moved me, but your answer baffled me. You said, "There is no loss quite like the loss of a pet." How can you equate the death of a pet to the death of a person? --Baffled

DEAR BAFFLED: I've experienced both kinds of loss (in abundance), and I'm not putting one loss over another; I am saying that they are different.