Waitress burned by bigotry against tattoos
DEAR AMY: My 26-year-old daughter waitresses in an upscale eatery in a liberal college town. She has numerous tattoos visible on her arms and legs, which get a lot of attention. I don't like tattoos, but she is my child, and I love her regardless. A co-worker's mom, who is Mormon, sat in my daughter's section and proceeded to tell her that she was disgusting. She said she could not believe my daughter was allowed to work there, told her not to spit in her food and said she is going to hell. I am seething. My religious beliefs teach love and acceptance to all, and that I should not judge others. My daughter treated the offender with kindness, but she was stunned by this spewing. What a perfect way to turn others against religion! Was there a tactful response my daughter could have given to make the offender realize her behavior was wrong?Sad MomDEAR SAD: This isn't about religion, but about rudeness. Your daughter's job at the restaurant is to serve food, but this does not mean she is required to tolerate hateful comments or educate customers about how to behave. In the moment, your daughter might have said, "You might prefer a different table. Would you like to speak with the manager?"
DEAR AMY: This is regarding the letter from "Anxious Wife," about her husband's mean behavior toward their 7-year-old son. This man will not change until he comes to a deep realization of how his self-hatred is being perpetrated on his son. He requires therapy to help him face his own feelings of anger and self-contempt. I see adults in my psychotherapy practice who are scarred from being raised by a hateful parent. Anxious Wife should protect her son and leave this marriage. Telling her son that her husband "really loves him" while being cruel to him sends a twisted message about what true love is all about.Dr. Melissa Klaskin