Yes, your affair with a married man is icky
DEAR AMY: I recently entered into a relationship with a married man. At first I was OK with it because I believed his explanation of why he's still married -- immigration purposes. We have had some great times that are filled with activities we enjoy, including intimate relations. As time has passed, I have learned that his marriage isn't as he described it to me. It's not so much a marriage of convenience as he said it was. I'm worried that our relationship is icky, especially when I think about it afterward. I spend a lot of time in his home eating meals his wife has cooked for him. I want to ask him about this point-blank, but I don't want to risk losing this guy, who happens to be very caring and attentive. Should I walk away, ignore his texts and find someone else?
--The Other Woman
DEAR OTHER WOMAN: If you can spend time at the house this man shares with his wife and eat meals she has cooked -- and it only occurs to you later how "icky" this is -- then I'd say you need to adjust your ick-ometer. The idea is to be icked out by things in advance of doing them.
Your guy is a liar and a cheat. Walking away sounds like a good idea.
DEAR AMY: I loved your response to "Heartbroken Dad," a single parent raising his adopted 14-year-old son. I especially related to the lines, "Do not expect him to express gratitude to you. His sole job is to grow up well (and that is a tough job for any child)." I am the stepmom of a challenging 13-year-old -- she has autism as well as other disorders. While parenting has many rewards, in a small part of my heart I've been hoping for a "thanks for being the mother my own mother isn't."What you wrote put it all in perspective.
DEAR STEPMOM: I often note that stepparents can be the real unsung heroes in a child's life. It sounds like your teen hit the jackpot.