A rocky marriage, now a pregnancy
DEAR AMY: My husband and I have been married almost five years. The past few months have been hard. It's become pretty clear that both of us are unhappy. It seems most of our arguments are based on relationship boredom and feeling taken for granted. We've agreed to work on these problems and make a go of making the marriage successful. I just found out that I am pregnant. I haven't told him. Although the pregnancy is unplanned, I'm happy. However, as long as we have been together, he has said he doesn't want kids. Well, a baby is coming, and I'm not sure how to break the news.Nervous
DEAR NERVOUS: The way to have a difficult talk is to prepare yourself as well as you can and start by saying, "I have something important to talk to you about." Do your best not to anticipate any specific reaction from your husband. Don't pressure him. You both could benefit from professional counseling to learn how to communicate about this -- and other matters.
DEAR AMY: On April Fools' Day, with my consent, my boyfriend posted on Facebook a picture of a beautiful engagement ring with the caption "What happens after a lovely Easter dinner. . . ." This is a joke because we have declared we would never remarry. Many took the bait. I didn't share this on my own Facebook page because I didn't want my 12-year-old daughter to see it. Now I'm not enjoying the joke. I'm upset at myself for not voicing my feelings but also upset that he'd think this kind of thing would be a real hoot. Facebooked
DEAR FACEBOOKED: You agreed to this, and now you are paying for your foolishness. When you discuss it with him, start by saying, "I want you to know that I take equal responsibility for this prank, but now I really regret it." It is entirely possible that he, too, is having second thoughts.