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Family of young drowning victim struggles with loss

BY DEBORAH S. MORRIS | deborah.morris@newsday.com

8:43 AM EDT, September 6, 2008

Ray and Dianne Dawson of Huntington, with their sons, from left, Ray, Jon, Jared and Patrick, are asking those who want to help them cope with the death of their son, Marc, to donate to Ronald McDonald House. (Newsday Photo / Jim Peppler)

Ray Dawson said when people ask him how he is doing since the death of his son last winter, he hesitates to give them an honest answer.

"The truth is, a 17-year-old boy who had everything in front of him and everything to live for is gone, and it's hard," Dawson said. "You don't get over it, you just get better at dealing with it. People mean well, but they want to hear you are doing OK."

In February Dawson's son Marc, a senior at Harborfields High School in Greenlawn, drowned. He had been holding his breath underwater in the pool of the Huntington Township YMCA.

Marc Dawson was unresponsive when he was pulled out of the water and transported to Huntington Hospital. His death, a week later, was ruled an accident.

"I have five kids and devoted my life to being their father and protecting them," said Dawson, who lives in Huntington. "I couldn't protect him, and that haunts me."

Following Marc's death, when friends would ask the family -- Marc's mother, Dianne Dawson, and the couple's four surviving sons -- what they could do, Dawson suggested donations to the Ronald McDonald House, a home away from home for families who are caring for seriously ill children undergoing medical treatment in area hospitals.

The Ronald McDonald House of Long Island has since received $42,025 in donations collected by family and friends.

"They are just an incredible organization," Dawson said. "They helped us during the hardest time of our lives. What better way to give back than to help someone else."

Ronald McDonald House president Robert S. Weitzner said the donated money will be used for the Ronald McDonald House Share-A-Night Program, which enables families to stay at the House.

"Their generosity and compassion will ensure those families in crisis an opportunity to be close to the ones they love," he said.

A respite
A social worker at Schneider Children's Hospital in New Hyde Park, where Marc had been transferred and where his extended family filled the halls, suggested that the family use the Ronald McDonald facilities, a two-minute walk away.

"For an incredible price, like $25 a night, you can get a shower, have a place to sleep," Dawson said. "We were thankful."

In another gesture honoring Marc's memory, the family decided to donate Marc's heart, pancreas, liver and kidneys.

"At first we said no," Dawson said. "But then we discussed it. We were praying for a miracle, and it became clear we weren't going to get one, so we decided to give someone else a miracle."

Recently the recipient of one of Marc's organs sent a letter to the family.

"It was heartwarming," Dawson said. "At some point I will respond, but not yet."

As family members struggle to move on with their lives -- "there is always a 600-pound gorilla in the room every time a milestone passes because there is an empty chair at the table, and it just brings it all back," Dawson said -- there is still one more wish he hopes to fulfill for his son.

In the months before his death, Marc had been training for his dream: to join the Navy SEALs. He had enlisted in the Navy and had reached the qualifying SEAL times in swimming, push-ups, pull-ups and sit-ups. But he had one more test to master: running a mile-and-a-half in 11 minutes.

"I'm going to run for him," said Dawson, 54. "It's symbolic. I'm in training and hope to do it around his birthday. I'm going to give it my best shot."