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'Mamma Mia!'

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BY RAFER GUZMÁN | rafer.guzman@newsday.com

July 18, 2008

'Mamma Mia!" the movie version of the ABBA-based stage musical, ought to go down like a fruity cocktail on a hot summer day. The ingredients seem perfect: a stellar cast, an unassailable soundtrack and source material from a proven hit. Somehow, though, this sugary mix turns into a sour hairball that will have you gagging to expel it for 108 minutes - or as long as you can stand it.

The story centers on young bride-to-be Sophie (Amanda Seyfried), who secretly sends wedding invitations to three men ( Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard) hoping to discover which is her father. Apparently, Sophie's mother ( Meryl Streep) slept with each of them in one wild month, but she decided to raise her daughter alone on a Greek island. As guests arrive (including Julie Walters and Christine Baranski as mom's old chums), supposedly comic high jinks and ostensibly musical numbers ensue.

One big problem with this big-screen musical is that nobody can actually sing. Streep's voice is passable, but Firth and Skarsgard hide desperately (or wisely) behind the overbearing score. Poor Brosnan sounds like an angry mule, delivering his verses with Shakespearean intensity - not exactly the right mode for ABBA's "SOS."

But the real blame lies with director Phyllida Lloyd, who launched the musical in London. Handling her first feature film, she makes the wrong choice at every turn. Instead of inventive sets, there are mundane settings: a bedroom, a beach. The cleverest prop is a hair dryer wielded as a microphone. And Lloyd repeatedly pulls her camera back as far as it will go, capturing every hapless move of her non-dancing cast.

At least a campy flop like "Xanadu" had roller skates and fog machines in its favor. "Mamma Mia!" offers only the ghastly sight of 24-carat actors like Streep, Walters and Skarsgard writhing around with no guidance and no help in sight.

(PG-13)

PLOT A young bride-to-be secretly sends wedding invitations to her mother's three old flames hoping to discover which is her father.

CAST Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Christine Baranski

LENGTH 1:48

PLAYING AT Area theaters.

BOTTOM LINE A terrific cast that can't sing or dance, plus a veteran stage director who can't direct a film. You can see the problem here.