Review: 'Mortal Instruments'
Plot: A young woman learns she is descended from a line of "shadow hunters" who protect us from demons and other problem makers.
Bottom line: Stilted, silly mishmash of earlier fantasy franchises.
Cast: Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower
'The Mortal Instruments' review: Cemetery with a familiar plot
There is most certainly an audience for the film "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones," fans of the six (planned) novels about demons, supernatural demon fighters, vampires, werewolves, witches and warlocks.
They'll thrill to the endless litany of runes, talismans, history and "rules" of this world of shadow hunters descended from an angel that showed up to help crusading knights a thousand years ago. They'll eagerly await the brief, throwaway visit to the "City of Bones" (a cemetery) of the title.
And if you love exposition and shapely if bland young actors in leather, skinny jeans, knee boots, Goth cocktail dresses and heavy eye makeup, this may be the movie for you.
Lily Collins is Clary, the birthday girl whose mother (Lena Headey) never told her about her heritage, why she keeps seeing signs and people with great hair stalking and stabbing demons in nightclubs. Clary, dragging her unsuspecting admirer Simon (Robert Sheehan) along, finds out.
She was born into this world. Simon? He's just a clueless human.
They learn all this from the mop-topped warrior-explainer Jace (Jamie Campbell Bower), who drives a Triumph motorcycle, flirts with Clary and has the tedious job of explicating every single thing to them and to the audience.
The shadow hunters fight "a war that can never be won, but must always be fought" the leader of their "Institute" (Jared Harris) teaches. We're invited to draw our own parallels to modern battles against terrorism.
Sometimes, vampires interfere. Sometimes, werewolves help. It's a stilted, silly mishmash of earlier fantasy franchises, with the occasional decent joke and frequent brawls involving swordplay and back flips.
Director Harald Zwart has "Agent Cody Banks" and the recent "Karate Kid" among his credits. Which tells you the best they're hoping for here is a "Percy Jackson" level of success. This franchise's fate was sealed when bargain hunters Screen Gems got the distribution rights to it.
And there's no stopping them. "City of Ashes," a second adaptation, is due out next year, probably dumped in late August, just like this one.
PLOT A young woman learns she is descended from a line of "shadow hunters" who protect us from demons and other problem makers.
CAST Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower
BOTTOM LINE Stilted, silly mishmash of earlier fantasy franchises.