'Entourage' ready for its big break

'Entourage' is a critical hit, but ratings-challenged. How can HBO turn it into a star player?

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'Could."

Or "should."

Or "almost certainly will..."

Ever notice how stories, columns, reviews, ruminations and (yes) outright puffery on HBO's Next Great Thing - aka "Entourage" - always seem to be focused on the future, as if the present isn't quite good enough?

As in: "Entourage" almost certainly will fill the void left by "Sex and the City" ...

Or, "Entourage" should become a major hit for the pay network ...

Or, for those of us more disposed to caution and hedging our bets: "Entourage" could become a hit one of these days ...

And so far, the winner for prescience or plain old common sense goes to the latter.

Yes, the series could become a major hit one of these days. But so far, "Entourage" - whose remaining eight episodes of its third season begin airing April 8 at 10 p.m. in the enviable wake of HBO's most glorious triumph - remains only a slightly better-than- marginal player for HBO.

The chief cultural arbiters of our age have taken ample notice of this show (thanks, Entertainment Weekly!), while there appears little doubt that people who can afford the lunch tab at L'Orangerie, Spago or the Water Grill are also talking about it. But much of the rest of America remains bored or out of touch.

What's going on? Today, we offer some theories about what could be wrong. But first, let's go to the scorecard. "Entourage" averaged about 2.5 million viewers last summer - good but hardly great guns. ("Sex and the City" averaged around 6million by the end of its run.) Assuming "The Sopranos" has a big turnout for its final lap - which is a good assumption - that might move up the needle on "Entourage" as well.

But HBO and "Entourage" aren't looking to merely capitalize on a lead-in. They want total victory (as the show's Johnny Drama character might say.)

What are the problems? Here are a handful of unscientific theories:

1."Entourage" isn't really a satire at all. In its first couple of seasons, "Entourage" cleverly played to both the "Hollywood-is-the-Antichrist" crowd and "Hollywood-is-the-greatest-place-on-Earth" crowd. There was ample evidence supporting both points of view: "Entourage" could be gleefully and corrosively dismissive of the place in one scene, and utterly in love with it the next.

But true satire is fueled by anger, and there is no genuine anger in this show. For the writers - led by the talented creator, Doug Ellin - that's pyschologically healthy, but for viewers, it means no edge. "Edge" and "bile" can be funny; "rank admiration" never is.

2.Ari Gold. Yes, uber-agent Ari Gold - played almost too perfectly by Emmy winner Jeremy Piven - is an annoying, manic, scatological twerp, and yes, the writers love him best of all. He gets the best lines (by far), the best scenes, the best stories. He steals scenes with furious abandon, while making Adrian Grenier's Vince Chase feel even duller and more slackingly louche than he actually is. But a little Ari goes for miles and miles; maybe that's why Carla Gugino will join the cast next Sunday as Vince's new agent, Amanda. Based on the early episodes, in comparison to Ari, Amanda is actually human.

3.Nothing of any consequence ever happens. Of course, nothing of consequence is supposed to - that's pretty much the whole idea of "Entourage." Does it really matter whether "Aquaman" tanks or soars? Will Vince ever score the lead in "Medellin?" After a few seasons of this, one wonders whether even TMZ.com still cares.

4.Too inside. There is peril with being too inside because viewers start to feel they're being left outside - like they're not cool enough to gain entry to this sleek pretty club. "Entourage" avoided this trap with smart casting - Eric "E" Murphy (Kevin Connolly), Vince, Johnny "Drama" Chase (Kevin Dillon) and Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) really were average guys from Queens who (at first) didn't know Hollywood from Bollywood. But they were quick learners and were soon swimming with the sharks like the best of 'em. They bought into Hollywood - but many viewers still haven't.

5.Character burnout. Here's a profound question: When do we grow weary of TV characters? In some cases, the answer seems "never." The cast of "Friends" hardly wore out its welcome for many millions - but in other instances, the answer is "sooner than you might imagine."

"Entourage" has done a particularly good job drawing these four characters. From the beginning, they've been consistent, and consistency is usually a darn good thing in quality TV. But none have grown. None have any particular sense of self-awareness. None even seem to be aware that what they're doing - sucking off the teat that is Hollywood - is not necessarily always a good thing, nor something one should bet the ranch on. Doesn't any member of this posse have the slightest sense of irony or objectivity?

The answer appears to be "no." And that can get kind of old, really fast.

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