One of our favorite games as a child was Tank on the Atari. Premise: Two tanks shooting at each other until one wins. Flat 2-D screen, simple controls, simple pleasure.
Tank! Tank! Tank! is three times the name but not triple the fun. It has no real connection to the joystick game of yore. It feels like a slimmed-down version of basic tank battle, if that's possible, considering the ease of that nearly four-decade-old 8-bit classic.
Up to four players can hop onto the Wii U and battle it out, either as a team against waves of enemies or versus each other in various modes.
This provides the best experience of the game, considering its tedium and brevity in other areas.
There is no story. The controls are easy to grasp. Turn toward a target and press a button to shoot. That constitutes the depth of your gaming experience. The game handles the aiming for you, which means you'd better hope it points you toward the gigantic spider or robot heading your way, otherwise you're toast. You must constantly unlock newer tanks to replay the levels you already beat to unlock more tanks, and then you've seen all the game has to offer.
We're all for games that aim for accessibility, but you can watch 4-year-olds playing more complicated fare on iPads.
RATING E10 for Everyone 10 and older
PLOT Blast giant spiders and more
DETAILS Wii U, $50
BOTTOM LINE A dud