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Kate answers your questions. Not mine.

Photo credit: AP Photo/Richard Drew

  Hey, did you catch last night's letter bag edition with Kate?

 

 You didn't? Wassamatta?  You got a life? Well, let's assume you didn't and let's assume I did, and let's assume you are about to read a complete and utterly truthful version of what I saw.

 Bottom line: It was as informative as an Empire carpets commercial.  But I'm being prejudicial. You make up your own minds.

  Here goes. It all started with this disclaimer. Kate, asks some dude offscreen, did you see any of the questions beforehand? Oh, maybe "a few" and the ones she decided she didn't care to answer - she makes a throwing motion, like she's tossing aside that little sadsack puppydog ex,  Jon - then she won't answer!

  What questions. People, if you were the ones who sent those questions in, I hope you're satisfied. Those were not great questions. Me? I had great questions - clearly Kate tossed those aside.

 I wanted to know how much she pays for the mullet 'do, or whether she had ever physically beaten Jon, or why she's so damned annoying, or if she was going to do some dumb talk show now that this nonsense is over....

  Hey! Is this nonsense really and trully over?

  I'm pretty certain it is. 

  No, she didn't answer those questions. 

  Instead: "Do you ever freak out with all those kids?"
 
  "Do you ever watch the show?" Kate responded.

 Ask a bad question, get a snippy-snappy answer.

 And what's the worst "you've ever read..."

 (What? Besides this blog?)

 "[Like] I was having an affair...that is ridiculous..."

 I wish that guy on "Lie to Me" was watching - what would he say about this answer?

 "The bottom line is it is hurtful...it changes your life...people don't want to be your friends...disgusting companies make a living on falsities..."

 Oh, good heavens, Kate. Get over it. You owe the paps everything. (Like the fact they caught you having an affair with your trainer.)
 
 Does she know about this Halloween Kate fright wig? Sure! But no, she doesn't get the proceeds...because TLC refuses to call it a Kate wig, otherwise they've have to share royalties. That was an interesting response - she actually sounded annoyed, as though TLC was trying to rip her off. When she heard about this wonderful wig, "I laughed my head off.." Laughed her wig off, too. "I think it's great people can laugh at us or with us." Strike the "with us," KG.

 What's the deal with them heels, Kate, that you wear all the time? "Well, do you mean that heel, Jon. Yuk Yuk." No, she didn't say that. But I bet she wished she had. (She wears heels cuz it make her thinner - and easier to spike Jon now and then with some nifty round-house Kung Fu moves.)

 Wanna get married again? "To be honest, I don't know...the aloneness is so alone...it's going to have to be someone with a lot of patience character and strength and wisdom." 

Kate, that would be your trainer - at least the strength part. The other stuff he can work on. I like that line, "the aloneness is so alone."  Can aloneness ever not be alone or can it be a little bit alone or...?
 
"A healthy amount of money is put away for the kids and it is safe..."

 Of course, unless Jon robs the bank again - and then it's back to, "how am I gonna pay the electric bill."

 What's her career goal?

 "My career goals...I'd love to do a movie sometime. Or a cartoon character in a movie for my kids..."

  Kate! May I humbly suggest...Brainiac...Natasha Fatale...Mrs. Montgomery Burns...Sr. Doom...Dr. Octopus...Magneto...Mojo Jojo...Shreder...Ursula...Stewie...Plankton...Itchy (Not Scratchy).

 OK, the day's a-wasting. Here's the rest of the entire episode. The condensed version...
 
  She's "humbled" by people waiting in line to see her...the boys want to be cowboys when the grow up...Emiril made the kids happy...the kids like animals...parrots are cool...her crew is nice...she saves coupons...she's never gonna move close to the beach...she stays motivated because she's motivated...her house isn't perfect...she does run out of energy every now and then...she hates homework...regrets her tattoos not as organized as she used to be head is scrambled much stress does crazy things don't know where salt shaker is obsessive personality attacks clutter like vermin don't project anymore and if I had my choice will be happy healthy tv career thing nice but don't wanna be alone and will weather storms I just want eight healthy members of society sad to see show go...

 (But not me.)
 

 
 
 

Tags: jon & kate plus 8 , kate gosselin

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