As you may know, I went off on a caffeine-feuled tear against last night's "Grey's Anatomy" finale.The post is below.

  But this morning, my beloved - Shonda Rhimes - went on a tear of her own.

  She wrote a long blog post in "Grey Matters" - her popular blog re "GA" - about last night. I've posted some excerpts below. It's all pretty good and go to "Grey Matter's" to read the whole thang .

  Still pals, Shon? (XXOO.)

But here’s the thing. It hurt to write this finale. It literally hurt me. Because in order to write these episodes, I had to walk in the shoes of Gary Clark.  I had to think like a shooter.  A person who would shoot Reed and Alex and Charles. A person who would shoot Derek.  By the time I finished writing part one, I was sick. And depressed. Because my McDreamy – and I think you all will forgive me for believing he is more mine than anyone else’s because c’mon, I wrote my dream guy saying my dream things which is the reason I am single and the reason he is mine – my McDreamy was lying on my beloved catwalk dying. Mer is screaming and he is dying. And, before you have me shot up with Thorazine and placed in a strait jacket, yes, I DO I know it’s a only TV show, I’m not insane, but
dude…it felt too real. It felt WAY too real.And here’s the thing you need to know: in my first draft of Part 1, Gary Clark shot Bailey.  Bailey.  He shot her. And I wrote it and then I couldn’t sleep, for days and days, I could not sleep and I had to remove it from the script. Bailey getting shot was just too much for me. She’s our anchor. She’s the soul. Mer is the heart but Bailey is the soul and so I had to delete it.  Because there was no way I could go on if Bailey had a bullet wound.  The world would just be too…broken. Derek was devastating enough but both Derek and Bailey…it meant I couldn’t go on.


And then I got to Part 2. I had shattered a world and now I needed to put it back together. Okay…wait:Here is where many of you are yelling at me, where those of you who weren’t yelling maybe decide to START yelling. Right here. Right now. You want to know why I didn’t do a happy season finale. Why happy things were not happening to happy people in the happy finale. Why I would do what I did to Meredith. You are hollering, “I hate you and your stupid dark and twisty mind, Shonda Rhimes!” (Except for y’all who roll with the dark and twisties. You don’t hate, you relate, right? Y’all are out there, still with me, right?
Still got your dancing shoes and tequila bottles raised high in the air in solidarity, right? Crap. Not even you guys?)I promise you, there was a reason for this.

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Now, finally, I want to say this. Michael O’Neil who plays Gary Clark is a kind, sweet, gentle man who abhors violence. This was an emotionally difficult role for him to play. He had to step into the mind of a killer. And he did it with complexity and grace. He made
Gary Clark three-dimensional. But we were all clear on one thing: the Gary Clarks of the world are the bad guys. Using a gun and shooting up a place makes you a bad person. I was very concerned that we not glorify the violence in the finale. There’s nothing charming about it. That’s why Reed’s death was done so brutally. I wanted it to not be pretty, not be okay. Because a gun is not the way to solve your problems.

I’ll say it again to make sure you hear me: a gun is not the way to solve your problems.

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