It's a code, bro.
In Monday night's episode of "How I Met Your Mother," airing at 8 on CBS/2, you'll hear about "The Bro Code for Parents." Now, you can actually buy the book, subtitled "What to Expect When You're Awesome," and written by Barney Stinson, aka Neil Patrick Harris' character, and "HIMYM" writer Matt Kuhn (Touchstone, $14.99).
Barney and Kuhn's books have ended up on shelves in the real world before -- "The Playbook: Suit Up. Score Chicks. Be Awesome," "Bro on the Go" and "The Bro Code" spring to mind. But it's a first for Barney to offer advice to parents, and with sections in the book titled "How to Get Pregnant," "You're Pregnant . . . Now What?," "Early Childhood" and "Toddlerdom," the bro has you covered.
Granted, we can't actually tell you all the good stuff, this being a family newspaper. There's a conception calendar -- warning you of various dilemmas. (Example: If you conceive on Oct. 4, the child's due date is July 4. Barney -- who has no kids of his own -- says: "You're really going to blow a long weekend on this?")
You'll also learn:
To create a "broller," a bro's stroller (hint: it has a diaper incinerator on the bottom).
To interpret common messages in your baby's diaper (think Rubin's vase).
To make a playlist of soft songs to lull the little person to sleep (including "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel).