'Modern Family' book offers wisdom


ABC's "Modern Family" stars Ed O'Neill as Jay, Sofia Vergara as Gloria, Julie Bowen as Claire, Ty Burrell as Phil, Eric Stonestreet as Cameron, Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Mitchell, Sarah Hyland as Haley, Ariel Winter as Alex, Nolan Gould as Luke and Rico Rodriguez as Manny. Photo Credit: ABC

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There's a whole lot more wit than wisdom in the new companion book to ABC's hit "Modern Family." That's OK, you don't watch a sitcom to learn lessons. You just want laughs.

And "Modern Family," which has its fourth-season premiere Sept. 26, provides plenty, to the tune of two best comedy Emmys so far. It's one of those water cooler shows where you quote the best lines the next day with fellow fans. To help you remember some of the funniest (and maybe wring a few more bucks out of a hilarious franchise), ABC has published "Modern Family: Wit and Wisdom From America's Favorite Family" (Hyperion, $15.99). Here are a few of the best nuggets of, um, wisdom:

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CLAIRE (Julie Bowen) -- "If only my mother were here to show me how not to handle this situation."

GLORIA (Sofia Vergara) -- "In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married."

JAY (Ed O'Neill) -- "There's nothing mystical about an earthquake. Pressure builds and it's released. But it makes us realize what matters, and for me that's family. My family. And golf."

MITCHELL (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) -- "It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world, interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer."n

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PHIL (Ty Burrell) -- "I guess that's the real circle of life. Your parents faked their way through it; you fake your way through it. And hopefully you don't raise a serial killer."

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