'Rob': Her family hates him, so will you
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COMEDY PREMIERE "Rob"
WHEN | WHERE Thursday at 8:30 p.m. on CBS/2
REASON TO WATCH Not quite approaching the intellectual heft of "Deuce Bigelow," so this could be your call.
WHAT IT'S ABOUT Rob (Rob Schneider) is an OCD-afflicted landscape architect who one day ventured into a shop where Maggie (Claudia Bassols) was working. It was love at first sight and . . . cue to the opening scene, where Rob is bringing Maggie back to his home after a whirlwind romance and quickie Vegas marriage.
He has one bit of baggage to unpack first, however, before they live happily ever after: Maggie wants him to meet her extended family from Mexico, including her mother, Rosa (Diana Maria Riva), and father, Fernando (Cheech Marin). They hate him -- more so when he is caught, pants down, in a compromising position with beloved Abuelita (Lupe Ontiveros). At least crazy uncle Hector (Eugenio Derbez) likes the newest family member. (This is roughly based on Schneider's own life.)
MY SAY Poor "Rob" -- destined to be despised by professional critics, bloggers, tweeters and everyone else who wields a keyboard with such a fury that they'll split their knuckles pounding out their venomous and not inaccurate prose. But cool, calculating CBS long ago -- say, about 60 years ago -- decided not to make TV shows for critics, but instead make some for Mom and Pop Sixpack in Green Bay (oh, cursed Green Bay) who just want to laugh at some witless multicamera sitcom on a Thursday night before hitting the old sack. Nothing ironic. Nothing smart. A good profane "humping" joke or two. And then be done with it. That's "Rob." There's some slapstick here, though none remotely risible, but at least Bassols -- voted Spain's "sexiest" by Esquire a couple years ago -- should offer the Sixpacks a pleasing visual diversion for 22 minutes.
BOTTOM LINE Yup, pretty awful.