Compromising on burial of an out-of-wedlock child

July 2, 2009

While I was married, over 30 years ago, I had an affair, and we had a child. The father is Catholic, and I am Jewish. He agreed that our daughter should be raised Jewish, since I never divorced my husband. When my husband passed away, I told my daughter about her biological father. She expressed interest in meeting him, which she did. A few years ago, she passed away and was cremated, according to her wishes. Her biological father recently contacted me and requested permission to bury some of her ashes in his grave when he dies. I'd already sent him some of her ashes, along with a lock of her hair. I also had made plans for my daughter's ashes to be buried with me when I pass away. Are there any religious restrictions in either faith that would prevent us from fulfilling these wishes?

Recent columns

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  While I was married, over 30 years ago, I had an affair, and we had a child. The father is Catholic, and I am Jewish. He agreed that our daughter should be raised Jewish, since I never divorced my husband. When my husband passed away, I told my daughter about her biological father. She expressed interest in meeting him, which she did. A few years ago, she passed away and was cremated, according to her wishes. Her biological father recently contacted me and requested permission to bury some of her ashes in his grave when he dies. I'd already sent him some of her ashes, along with a lock of her hair. I had also made plans for my daughter's ashes to be buried with me when I pass away. Are there any religious restrictions in either faith that would prevent us from fulfilling these wishes?

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