It's dream job vs. man of her dreams

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Ask Amy Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

DEAR AMY: I recently found the man of my dreams. We've been dating a little over a month, and even though we're still in the puppy love stage, we see a real future together. Timing seems to be the enemy here as I've been trying to follow my passion and have dreamed of becoming a teacher for the past three years. I have now landed a job six hours away. I start in a month. I was upfront with him when we started dating, and he reassured me we'd work through it. We've talked more recently about visiting each other twice a month and him potentially moving up there in December.

Do long-distance relationships ever work out, especially after knowing someone for such a short amount of time? He's done long distance in the past, but she cheated on him. I leave soon and he is working on big projects at work, leaving very little time for us. This is challenging because he is tired and worn out at the end of the day. I tell him every day all the things I love about him but I don't say, "I love you." He does the same thing. I am worried that might scare him off. The "L word" is a big thing, but I don't want to leave town without him knowing how I feel. Is it possible for such a new relationship to work out long distance? Is it too early to tell this man that I love him?

-- Not Enough Time

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DEAR ENOUGH: It is definitely possible for your relationship to work out long distance; in fact, given the fact that you are starting a new job and your love interest is working on challenging projects, this distance might give you both the freedom you need to fulfill your professional pursuits, while giving this new relationship time to grow.

Long-distance relationships can be wonderful, fulfilling and exciting. Don't crowd him too much now and don't lay heavy emotions on the table (I do think it's too early to launch a spring-loaded "L word" in his direction). Determine that you will stay open and optimistic about the possibilities.

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