My daughter, who lives in another state, is getting married this summer. We want to have a shower for her here, but because she will be flying back and forth, she will not be able to take gifts on the plane. Is it OK to put a note in the shower invitation asking guests to give a gift card or have the gift sent to her home? -- Debra, East Meadow
This is a tricky one. Though you could suggest on the invitation that guests give gift cards because the bride is out-of-town, it is not advised. Asking for gift cards is similar to asking for presents or money, which is usually viewed in an unflattering way.
The idea of a bridal shower is to give the bride-to-be items that she requested from her wedding registry; a shower where only cards are opened is not as enjoyable of an experience as watching wrapping paper fly!
I also do not recommend asking guests to send their gifts to your daughter’s home. Asking guests to go out of their way to mail a gift as well as asking them to pay for shipping and handling is bending the rules of etiquette, and may not sit too well with friends and family.
An interesting suggestion: As a bridal gift to her, you (or a group of close family or friends) could buy her luggage—that way, when guests bring gifts, she can store as much as she can in the luggage to bring back home with her. If there are gifts that are too big or bulky to bring back home, take note of those items and return them at their respective stores-- that way, she can go to a store that’s closer to her and buy that gift locally.
If you have a wedding question, email The Wedding Helper at firstname.lastname@example.org and your question could be featured!