Man's insistence on not being alone with girl, 5, makes sense

May 15, 2008

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I were watching my 5-year-old niece. She came to me and told me that my boyfriend said he was going to punch her in the nose. I know that when my boyfriend is playing with the kids he plays around and says things, but he is adamant that he didn't say that.

Recent columns

• It's past time for young woman to get out of abusive relationship

  May 14, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a 21-year-old woman in a relationship with a man who is 16 years my senior.

• She wants to pursue workplace relationship

  May 13, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have a really good job that I truly love going to. The company I work for allows employees to learn other jobs. I recently started learning a new position in the company, and I have developed a crush on the person who is training me.

• Son wants to be sure retirement home is good fit for his father

  May 12, 2008

  Dear Amy: This presidential campaign has gotten so stupid that I have decided your column is by far the most interesting thing in the paper, and so I have become a devoted reader. But I digress.

• Which mom gets daughter's time on Mother's Day?

  May 11, 2008

  Dear Amy: I never know what to do on Mother's Day.

• Mom may have to extend her supervision to daughter's friend

  May 10, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a frustrated mom. My 14-year-old daughter, "Amber," frequently wants to hang out with "Tiffany." Tiffany is always home alone after school because her mom and stepfather both work. Her folks left her on her own once for an entire weekend while they went to Colorado.

• Employees don't have to put up with harassment from co-worker

  May 9, 2008

  Dear Amy: I work at a local store. We all get along pretty well, except for one issue. One of the employees, "Betsy," is gay. None of us has a problem with her life choice, but she keeps coming on to certain female employees who are straight.

• Man's secret meeting with old flame leaves wife fuming

  May 8, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been married for 15 years. I just found out that my husband has kept in contact with an ex-girlfriend—they were once engaged to be married, but she broke it off. My husband had never mentioned her to me before.

• Shopaholic wife may be burying herself and her husband in debt

  May 7, 2008

  Dear Amy: My beautiful wife of seven years is a shopaholic. She literally can't go into a store and come out empty-handed.

• She's tired of doing kin's heavy lifting

  May 6, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have an older brother who has been married for 10 years. He has two kids and a third child on the way. I am single and 30 years old.

• Boyfriend doesn't seem to have right stuff to be a good parent

  May 5, 2008

  Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I had been talking about the possibility of having children someday. I want them. He said he didn't want kids.

• Time to call on inner Bridezilla

  May 4, 2008

  Dear Amy: I'm a newly engaged woman who will be married in a little more than six months. I have yet to "let the cat out the bag" to my family. My mother and two bridesmaids have been sworn to secrecy. I want much of my planning done before family members start to run wild with the idea. They are very loving but can be overbearing.

• It's time to ask new boyfriend why he has been 'spacey' lately

  May 3, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been dating a guy for about six weeks. At first it was great. We hung out a lot — he would text me to say "hey" or call out of the blue to tell me to have a good day.

• Woman's platonic male pal takes disliking to her new boyfriend

  May 2, 2008

  Dear Amy: I've always held my friends closer than any boyfriend, because after a breakup my friends are the ones who will be there for me. But I've never had this problem before. I recently started seeing "Rob." He's great. He's met a few of my friends, and they love him—all except my closest guy friend.

• Granddad who works at school is convicted child sex offender

  May 1, 2008

  Dear Amy: My father is a child sex offender. His conviction was 15 years ago. My husband and I decided we did not want him to have contact with our children, but my sister feels differently, and he spends a lot of time with her children.

• Teen is crazy if she meets this creep, takes relationship further

  April 30, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a 19-year-old student, and I recently began talking to a 32-year-old man. He has lied to me from the beginning. He wants to move the relationship further. I'm considering it.

• Dad can help 3 kids blend into a family

  April 29, 2008

  Dear Amy: I was a single father to my daughter until I recently remarried. My daughter is 10 years old.

• Desire for sex challenges her values

  April 28, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have found the love of my life! He is amazing and wonderful. We are only 21 years old and don't plan on marrying until we graduate from college. It will probably be three or more years until we marry.

• She wants brother to share the wealth

  April 27, 2008

  Dear Amy: I'd like your opinion of something that's been a thorn in my side. I'm a woman with two sisters and three brothers. The oldest sibling, "Brian," is a multimillionaire. Years ago, I heard through the grapevine that he provided funding for the college educations of the kids of two other siblings, "Cynthia" and "Martha."

• When rent and friendship collide, try to honor your commitments

  April 26, 2008

  Dear Amy: I moved out of my apartment last year and moved in with a friend to help pay the rent when his roommate moved out.

• A therapist can help her husband navigate through his midlife crisis

  April 25, 2008

  Dear Amy: My husband of 20 years is in the middle of a major midlife crisis. He is unsatisfied with his job, our home and his life in general.

• Tenants don't have to tolerate landlord's unannounced visits

  April 24, 2008

  Dear Amy: My husband and I have a well-meaning landlord, who frequently comes into our apartment to do little repairs without telling us.

• Girlfriend has gone off deep end with frugal environmentalism

  April 23, 2008

  Dear Amy: I've been dating "Anabel" for about a year. She is nice, funny and sincere. What I used to consider a quirky endearment, I now consider an annoyance.

• She's interested but isn't sure Southern boy gets her signals

  April 22, 2008

  Dear Amy: I've developed a little crush on a guy I see from time to time. He's from the South, and I've misread the often charming, flirtatious nature of Southern boys as interest before.

• Role-playing games mix up man in real life

  April 21, 2008

  Dear Amy: Eighteen months ago, I got involved with an online role-playing game. I hooked up online with a wonderful woman named "Cathy." We love each other and have exchanged letters. Despite the distance, it is a wonderful relationship — she lives on the other side of the world.

• Amy says wife needs to ditch ex-lover

  April 20, 2008

  Dear Amy: Eighteen months ago my wife and I separated. While we were separated, my wife got into a relationship with another man. In her words, I didn't love her right.

• Dad's sleepover after separation likely to confuse young daughter

  April 19, 2008

  Dear Amy: I separated from my husband two weeks ago after 10 years of marriage. Our marriage was going downhill, and when he began a relationship with another woman, it was time to leave.

• It's time for college grad to show who's boss (Hint: It's not Mom)

  April 18, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a 24-year-old college graduate. I landed my first real job and want to go to medical school.

• Teen may have eating disorder, should see a physician

  April 17, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a high school guy with a big problem — my weight. Up until this year I was just a little overweight (my whole family is). But I have begun getting the urge to eat more and more. I am not under any stress. I get good grades and have a great family. I have a normal social life.

• Showing porn from cell phone qualifies as sexual harassment

  April 16, 2008

  Dear Amy: After a discussion with my husband about our accountability to each other on several subjects, the topic of sexually explicit material came up.

• Slow down when dealing with 82-year-old mom

  April 15, 2008

  Dear Amy: My mother is 82 and recently remarried. Her 83-year-old husband is very attentive to her. They live on their own and are healthy. My sisters and I are in close touch.

• Dinner party devolves into politics debate

  April 14, 2008

  Dear Amy: I treated several of my good friends to a special dinner at my house. I don't know if it was the cocktails or what, but the topic of discussion was the upcoming presidential election. Well, it turned into a shouting match — definitely not a civilized debate — all the way through dinner.

• Less is more when declining an invite

  April 13, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am fortunate (and grateful) that my field of work is also my personal passion and one that my husband also enjoys. This work is very social and constantly puts me in ongoing contact with many wonderful people.

• 10 years ago his wife lost interest in sex, and he's at his wits' end

  April 12, 2008

  Dear Amy: I'm a man in my late 40s who has been married for 25 years.

• In the age of online dating, it's OK for women to 'pursue' men

  April 11, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a single female in my 30s. I am not into the bar scene, so I use Internet sites to meet and date men.

• Sister with day care wants to home-school child

  April 10, 2008

  Dear Amy: My sister runs a day care out of her home. She watches my 1-year-old son, another 2-year-old boy and her own boys, ages 7, 4 and 1.

• Exasperated single mom wants her son to sleep in his own bed

  April 9, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a single mom raising a 21/2-year-old son. My son refuses to sleep in his bed through the night. He is up at least three times a night, wanting to lie in bed with me or lie on the couch. I lie on the floor by his bed and tell him to lie in his bed and go back to sleep. He refuses to stay in his bed, so he lies on the floor with me.

• Best gift these parents can give son is responsibility for himself

  April 8, 2008

  Dear Amy: Our son is 19. He went away to college for his first semester. His girlfriend from our hometown constantly visited him. He begged us to allow him to come back home to go to a local school, and he said he would abide by any rules we might have. We agreed. Then we found out he flunked out of school and that his girlfriend was pregnant. She got an abortion.

• College fund for nieces, nephews is great, but don't play favorites

  April 7, 2008

  Dear Amy: My husband and I are childless and financially secure. His sister has two children; my brother has three. We love all of the children and try to treat them equally.

• Tell the new boss about old job woes

  April 6, 2008

  Dear Amy: For five years, I worked for a small company made up of about 10 people. Everyone was friendly and got along well, except for one person, "Jim."

• Current boyfriend is nervous to meet dad of girlfriend's child

  April 5, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been with a great woman for almost eight months. She has a 2-year-old daughter who is wonderful. The problem is that the child's father just met her for the first time.

• Think twice before broaching friend's premature hair loss

  April 4, 2008

  Dear Amy: A 21-year-old friend is slowly but undeniably losing his hair. He's never mentioned it and seems unable to admit it to himself.

• This mom may have good reason to read daughter's text messages

  April 3, 2008

  Dear Amy: A neighbor has a 12-year-old daughter who was the victim of female bullies in elementary school. The neighbor told me that she looks at her daughter's phone text messages.

• Student caught in middle as parents plan split

  April 2, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a college student. My parents recently separated — my dad initiated it, and my mom is in shock.

• Concerned aunt should focus on kids

  April 1, 2008

  Dear Amy: Six months ago, my niece walked out on her 20-year marriage. She and her husband have two young children.

• Students likely have nickname for their teacher

  March 31, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a teacher at a public middle school.

• Be honest about pal's deadbeat guy

  March 30, 2008

  Dear Amy: A longtime close friend has a deadbeat boyfriend. She has been in an on-and-off relationship with him for five years. He has ruined her holidays and birthdays, wrecked her car and borrowed money. She refuses to see any of his flaws.

• Daughter is worried about her widowed mother's new beau

  March 29, 2008

  Dear Amy: My mother is a snowbird. She lives with us six months of the year and in a condo we purchased for her the other six months.

• Her retired parents' behavior suggests poor health, boredom

  March 28, 2008

  Dear Amy: Four years ago, my parents retired in their mid-50s.

• Teen fears losing friend if she says she loves him

  March 27, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a 17-year-old high school senior girl, and the song "Teardrops on My Guitar" is basically the story of my life.

• Death leaves kin split over final resting spot

  March 26, 2008

  Dear Amy: My father died of a heart attack two months ago. It has been a terrible time for our whole family, with the biggest burden — handling the paperwork, phone calls, errands, etc. — falling to my grieving mother.

• Mother's refusal to determine child's paternity raises concerns

  March 25, 2008

  Dear Amy: A little more than 21/2 years ago, our son, who is now 40, had a live-in girlfriend. They announced she was pregnant. In about her sixth month she moved out and went to live with another boyfriend. My son discovered that she had had lots of boyfriends.

• Help pal take off middle-age rose-colored glasses

  March 24, 2008

  Dear Amy: Years ago, I introduced two friends — let's call them Male Friend and Female Friend. They ended up dating for a year.

• Cheating pal may not want the truth

  March 23, 2008

  Dear Amy: How should I respond to a friend who is asking for advice? She is involved with a married man, which I believe is wrong. She wants to know what she can do to pressure him into leaving his wife. My friend doesn't see anything wrong with this situation.

• Couple upset after old friends become closer to other friends

  March 22, 2008

  Dear Amy: Twenty five years ago, my husband and I became friends with a couple through my husband's job. We enjoyed their company and had many wonderful and fun experiences with them over the years.

• Who's worse? Fool at the office or the complaining co-worker?

  March 21, 2008

  Dear Amy: There is an older woman in our office who is the butt of all the jokes, and she is made fun of behind her back.

• He promised not to cheat again, but she's still reading his e-mail

  March 19, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend "Danny" for about 21/2 years.

• For this relationship to work, she needs to focus on herself

  March 18, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a college freshman, and I am in a relationship with my best friend. I am a virgin. We have known each other for six months, and I trust him more than I trust anyone. He is the kind of guy who has been hurt by relationships, so he doesn't want another person to be hurt.

• Man's porn addiction is a problem for fiance

  March 17, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been in a relationship with my fiance for four years. This man has treated me better than anyone I've ever met, and I love him very much. But I believe he's addicted to pornography, and he refuses to give it up.

• Grow up and take trip without mom

  March 16, 2008

  Dear Amy: My mother-in-law is a control freak. She has her nose in all of our lives, and she has crossed the line many times with me. My children love her, but they also get to break all the rules we have established for them while at her house, so I have to correct their behavior (such as constant candy eating, running on the furniture, etc.) when they return from a visit with her.

• Son tells mom he's having affair, puts her in the middle

  March 15, 2008

  Dear Amy: My 48-year-old married son ("Michael") is having an affair with someone he used to work with. He told me about it -- I wish he hadn't. When I asked him why he would do such a thing, he said he didn't know he could feel that way again. He said he loves his wife but they've grown apart.

• Best friend seems to be reserving worst moods for long-term pal

  March 14, 2008

  Dear Amy: My best friend of almost 17 years has a bad temper. Some days she will be all dandy and happy, but other days she is a completely different person.

• Cheating doesn't have to mean the end of this couple's marriage

  March 13, 2008

  Dear Amy: I just found out that my wife has been seeing someone behind my back.

• High school girl wise to refuse when boy asks for too much

  March 12, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a freshman in high school and somehow managed to avoid most high school drama until now.

• Her husband is 'wonderful, but she'd prefer an athlete

  March 11, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been married to a wonderful man for five years. He adores me and treats me like a queen. He cooks dinner for me, pays a maid to clean the house, takes me on trips, etc. All of my single friends wish they could find someone like him.

• 'Average Nice Guy' has drug problem

  March 10, 2008

  Dear Amy: Some of us in my poker group are concerned about a friend of ours.

• Son should quit dogging parents

  March 9, 2008

  Dear Amy: My parents have a problem.

• Employees of bill-dodging boss should start looking for new jobs

  March 8, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been working for a dentist for 15 years. I have always loved my job, mostly because we have wonderful patients who are like family.

• Husband balks at second round of in-home in-law elder care

  March 7, 2008

  Dear Amy: My wife's parents divorced and neither remarried, so when my wife's mother got ill, we took her into our home and cared for her for seven years until she died. We got no help from my wife's two brothers, but they told my wife that if we cared for their mother, they would care for their father when the time came.

• Widow's lack of independence after 5 years burdens her children

  March 6, 2008

  Dear Amy: My wife is one of 12 children, and all of her siblings and their spouses are wonderful people.

• Wife claims out-of-wedlock baby none of her husband's business

  March 5, 2008

  Dear Amy: My wife and I just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary.

• Sleeping nude with widower poses big problem for woman

  March 4, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am divorced with two daughters, ages 10 and 12. I met a great guy through my church; he is a widower with three kids ranging in age from 12 to 18. Our relationship is a dream. I can say anything to him. He makes me laugh and is a great listener. His children are wonderful.

• 6 months too short a wait to date after wife dies?

  March 3, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am an 81-year-old man who lost his beloved wife two years ago.

• Gay cousin wants straight-up advice

  March 2, 2008

  Dear Amy: A young cousin of mine recently reached out to me with some heavy news. She told me that she is gay. She asked me not to tell anyone in the family, and I am honored that she trusted me with such a secret. I will most definitely honor her secret, and I completely support her.

• Having to endure your partner's put-downs in public isn't funny

  March 1, 2008

  Dear Amy: My partner and I just returned home from a cocktail party.

• Members of abusive clique need to be disciplined, ritual ended

  February 29, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a junior in high school. I recently made friends with a member of an "elite" clique, and she invited me to hang out with them.

• All elders have something to offer young kin

  February 28, 2008

  Dear Amy: What were you thinking with your snippy, rude and off-the-mark response to "Hurting in Texas"? The letter writer was hurt because she felt her two young grandchildren were being co-opted by their aunt and uncle.

• Husband should help stop Mom from bringing so many presents

  February 27, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have wonderful parents-in-law who visit us from out of state several times a year.

• She is worried about woman from his past

  February 26, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been married for four years. We have a 2-year-old child and another child due in two months.

• Don't leave child alone with Grandma

  February 25, 2008

  Dear Amy: My mother-in-law is an on-again, off-again alcoholic who is out of control when she drinks too much. She had been on the wagon for about two years after having a stroke, but she recently started drinking again.

• When mom-in-law won't play nice

  February 24, 2008

  Dear Amy: We just celebrated our daughter's 2nd birthday with a party including immediate family and close friends. I thought everyone had a great time.

• It's time to get rid of stolen goods, help acquaintance do right thing

  February 23, 2008

  Dear Amy: Someone very close to me has just confided that she stole a number of things 20 years ago while working in a store.

• Be understanding of rude father, but don't let him be disrespectful

  February 22, 2008

  Dear Amy: Is there some unwritten rule that the child must "deal with" the parents once the child is grown?

• Couple asks relatives to bolster kid's college fund

  February 21, 2008

  Dear Amy: I received an e-mail from my husband's niece and her husband regarding their 2-year-old son (they also have two other kids, ages 6 and 4).

• Correspondent should reveal she's a woman to pen pal

  February 20, 2008

  Dear Amy: I fell into a correspondence -- first letters, now e-mails -- with a fellow whose political views are diametrically opposed to my own. His initial missives were extremely critical to the point of being insulting. I nevertheless persevered, somewhat out of curiosity and also as a challenge to perhaps broaden his thinking.

• He should write girlfriend 'No. 1,' let her know she's 'one and only'

  February 19, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been seeing this girl (we'll call her "Girl No. 1") for close to two years. I was head over heels in love with her. I still am. We recently broke up because I felt that we were going in two different directions. Then I made the mistake of getting involved with someone else (we'll call her "Girl No. 2").

• Mom says lesbian daughter, girlfriend have taken over

  February 18, 2008

  Dear Amy: My daughter is 25 years old, graduated from college and has a job. She lives with me and pays me rent. This sounds great except she is a lesbian. She has her lesbian friend over all the time, and they have taken over my household. Her friend has her own apartment but washes her clothes in my washing machine and eats off of my table.

• Take friend's cues: You're demoted

  February 17, 2008

  Dear Amy: My husband and I moved to Virginia about seven years ago.

• College student doesn't want to discuss sex life with parents

  February 16, 2008

  Dear Amy: I am a university student in my 20s.

• When he raises idea of marriage, she responds with uncertainty

  February 15, 2008

  Dear Amy: I have been with my girlfriend for two years.

• Your Valentine's say

  February 8, 2008

  Valentine's Day can bring out the best -- and regrettably, sometimes, the worst -- in people.

• After an affair, disclosure can lead to closure

  March 8, 2007

  Dear Amy: About 10 years ago, my wife had an affair.