Barack Obama's corruption outrage is left in Kenya

December 4, 2008

It's a good thing for George Ryan that he is just a crooked Illinois politician behind bars hoping to get sprung by the Illinois Combine, and not some corrupt governor in Kenya relying on the Masai Combination or whatever they call it over there.

Recent columns

• Forget 'redemption' and say their names

  December 3, 2008

  The word "redemption" slipped quite freely from the mouth of U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin as he pleaded for an early release from prison for corrupt former Illinois Gov. George Ryan, the word easy on his lips, as if there were almost no cost to the use of it.

• Dick Durbin misses the point about Ryan

  November 29, 2008

  Just before Thanksgiving, Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) moistened his finger and, as he has done so many times in his career, held the digit aloft to check the prevailing winds.

• It takes a bureaucracy to make tragedy worse

  November 28, 2008

  Do you remember Ashton Barker, the 5-year-old boy who was killed by a hit-and-run driver while holding his grandfather's hand?

• Wince yet be thankful with girlfriend's family

  November 27, 2008

  Ah, Thanksgiving Day. A time to give thanks for our dominion over this great land, and the creatures in it, some of which are quite tasty when brined and roasted.

• No stranger to danger or the power of horta

  November 26, 2008

  Retired Chicago tavernkeeper Gus Pavlopoulos is a 78-year-old man with five stents in his heart and the scars from more than a dozen other surgeries.

• Brine-inebriated bird a perfect holiday guest

  November 23, 2008

  Every year, millions of Americans foolishly forget to clip Kass' turkey brining column before preparing their Thanksgiving turkey. By then it's too late.

• Brine-inebriated bird a perfect holiday guest

  November 22, 2008

  Every year, millions of Americans foolishly forget to clip Kass' turkey brining column before preparing their Thanksgiving turkey. By then it's too late.

• Fast Eddie better hope Poor Billy doesn't sing

  November 21, 2008

  Fast Eddie Vrdolyak has a nickname. Poor Billy Singer has none.

• Casting agents abound in call to assist Obama

  November 20, 2008

  The other day, I asked readers to help President-elect Barack Obama pick his Washington brain trust—to help bring all that change we can believe in—and an amazing thing happened.

• Connections could touch every somebody

  November 16, 2008

  Watching the quiet little man with the fresh Julius Caesar haircut plead innocent Friday to federal extortion and corruption charges, I wondered:

• Girl's lesson: Bias, like shirts, picked out at home

  November 14, 2008

  Catherine Vogt—the brave 8th grader who used a T-shirt test to find out about political tolerance in Obamaland—is something of a celebrity now, thanks to you readers of this column.

• Tolerance fails T-shirt test

  November 13, 2008

  As the media keeps gushing on about how America has finally adopted tolerance as the great virtue, and that we're all united now, let's consider the Brave Catherine Vogt Experiment.

• Humility, heartbreak make Veterans Day

  November 12, 2008

  The old Marine stood alone outside at the Veterans Memorial in Orland Park on Veterans Day, waiting for the service to begin.

• Doo the right thing, Obama, forget the dog

  November 8, 2008

  President-elect Barack Obama has enough on his mind without Americans pressuring the poor guy about what kind of dog to get for his young daughters.

• Emanuel pick shows change is state of mind

  November 7, 2008

  It took only 36 hours for President-elect Barack Obama to take the off ramp from the Change We Can Believe In Highway and slam his foot on the gas in the express lanes of the Chicago Way.

• Let's help 'our' Obama select his consiglieri

  November 6, 2008

  With Chicago's own Barack Obama having just been elected president, this is the time for me to reflect and ponder, not engage in sarcasm. Besides, that's your job. Here's why.

• From King to Obama, by way of Chicago

  November 5, 2008

  Chicago is the city where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was hit in the head with a brick.

• Despite all the rage, do not be a sore loser

  November 5, 2008

  Though Americans say we live in the home of the brave, let's face it. On election night, most predictors are sniveling cowards.

• Fitzgerald's future tied to election results too

  November 1, 2008

  Despite the national media's childlike fantasy that Illinois is something like Camelot—where the knights rise to power without staining their shining armor—we're still neck deep in corruption and sleazy pay-to-play politics.

• Gorging appears over for boss hog Cellini

  October 31, 2008

  William Cellini, the boss hog of the Republican half of the bipartisan Illinois Combine that runs the state, has finally been indicted by a federal grand jury.

• Daley's memory slips as Gutierrez regains stride

  October 30, 2008

  When it comes to prancing proudly, few politicians step as high as U.S. Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-Boender).

• Death of a 2nd grader bodes ill for ailing city

  October 29, 2008

  Julian King was a 2nd grader, and 2nd graders are indifferent to the politics of homicide in the city that wants to host the 2016 Olympics.

• Killings show city is ill

  October 29, 2008

  After Hudson slayings, national spotlight shines on Murder City. PAGE 2

• Power in hands of few replaces liberty for all

  October 26, 2008

  On those nights when they were young, they smoked pot in the streets and listened to Dylan in the car and dreamed of the risks they'd take.

• Fattened-up Combine goes into hibernation

  October 24, 2008

  As America prepares to embrace the change we can believe in, whatever happened to all of the fascinating political creatures that make Illinois such a shining model of reform?

• AIG gets to party, and taxpayers get the bill

  October 23, 2008

  Jeffrey the Partridge Killer doesn't have quite the ring of Joe the Plumber. He's not as famous as Joe. Reporters haven't camped outside his home to shout questions at him, wondering if he's ever shot partridge without a license. And that's too bad.

• Daley takes cake when it comes to Burge mess

  October 22, 2008

  "Write that down," his highness King Shortshanks commanded on Tuesday.

• 'Joe the Plumber' in media cross hairs

  October 18, 2008

  The eyes of Joe the Plumber stare sightlessly from the media pike that his head has been impaled upon. A few crows fly over. As crows are curious, they become interested in the offering below. They lock their wings, caw and begin their swoop.

• Obama schools McCain, voters with a soothing cool

  October 17, 2008

  Calmly swatting away John McCain's aggression in their last debate the other night, Barack Obama repeatedly flashed his beautiful smile—that silky version of the Palin wink—confidently signaling voters that he was bemused but never threatened.

• Readers' dander is up after cat chow column

  October 16, 2008

  For today's column, I'm letting the readers assert their writes. Without the pressure to put together a column all by myself, I could relax and enjoy Wednesday night's Obama-McCain debate and not have to blurt out some hasty, ill-informed opinion on deadline instead of reflecting upon it soberly, responsibly, carefully, as is my way.

• You don't have to be a cat lover to hate this

  October 15, 2008

  Americans are busy hissing and scratching each other's eyes out over presidential politics. But there is one thing we can agree on—sending a few thousand U.S. troops into Peru to occupy the nation and stop Peruvians from eating all their cats.

• Daley reins in radicals — the Chicago Way

  October 11, 2008

  Turn on the TV news when John McCain is picking up undecided voters by invoking Barack Obama's relationship with unrepentant American terrorist William Ayers and, invariably, some liberal talking head will sniff in disgust and say Ayers is no big deal where Obama comes from.

• Pool Boy off clout-free in ComEd power probe

  October 10, 2008

  The Chronicles of Pool Boy continue with news of a stupendous Chicago political miracle.

• Cop's bum rap doesn't sour him on justice

  October 9, 2008

  SAC CITY, Iowa — Mike Mette, the wrongfully convicted Chicago cop released from an Iowa prison Wednesday, sat in the backyard of a family friend, finally free.

• Telltale letter a staple in Blagojevich arsenal

  October 8, 2008

  As Barack Obama and John McCain prepared for their debate on Tuesday, Illinois Gov. Rod "The Unreformer" Blagojevich broke out with a severe case of creeping feditis.

• Fans seek soft landing off slick playoff slope

  October 3, 2008

  The other night some nice, polite sportscaster from out of town said it was a wonderful thing for Chicago that both the White Sox and the Cubs are in the playoffs.

• Overdue Iowa justice has cop on free track

  October 2, 2008

  Bob Mette's phone started ringing Wednesday morning at 8:30 and wouldn't stop, so he couldn't log on to his home computer and read the news about his son for himself.

• Chicago cop's acquittal in Iowa fight is long overdue, but appreciated

  October 1, 2008

  Great news from baseball-loving Iowa:

• Altering genetics brings killer karma into play

  October 1, 2008

  Before I explain how the Chicken Kama Sutra got me fired from my dad's butcher shop when I was a 6th grader—I foolishly posed the cold fryers in X-rated combos on the butcher blocks—you need to know how this memory was hatched:

• Despite Sox's flaws, team has a divine day

  September 30, 2008

  As the bedraggled but faithful White Sox Nation prepares for Tuesday's one-game playoff with Minnesota to decide which team goes into the postseason, let's remind ourselves that there are greater things than baseball.

• 'Pool Boy' comes up for air with a new job

  September 29, 2008

  The Chronicles of Pool Boy continue today with the big news that he's finally resurfaced.

• Smooth sailing for Obama until debate arrived in Iran

  September 27, 2008

  For most of the debate Friday night, Sen. Barack Obama was the one who presented himself as presidential and strong. And Sen. John McCain appeared to be the guy who was wavering.

• Sox 'fear, loathing' could turn into pride, gloating

  September 25, 2008

  One of the great things about White Sox baseball—even during supposed fear and loathing—is that all the sports geniuses ripping Ozzie Guillen for being a lousy manager will kiss his spicy Venezuelan posterior if the Sox do well in the playoffs.

• In these stinging times, we need some honey to relax

  September 25, 2008

  When it's time to relax, there's nothing like climbing to a gorgeous rooftop garden in Chicago, putting on a ridiculous wire-mesh hat and trying to steal honey from 50,000 bees while hoping they won't sting you to death.

• McCain ad sends Daley into a gear-grinding frenzy

  September 24, 2008

  All it took was one TV ad by Republican Sen. John McCain daring to mention the Chicago Democratic Machine—the machine we're told does not exist—to unleash Mayor Chucky.

• Cubs' fate in furry clutches of cone-sporting mascot

  September 21, 2008

  Little Wrigley is my brother's family dog, a cute puppy who made the ultimate sacrifice for Cubs Nation. And he's got the wide plastic cone around his head to prove it.

• To wet city, Shortshanks sends ShamWow wishes

  September 19, 2008

  Today, readers get their writes, but first, let me tell you about what's happening Monday.

• No job? No money? No clean air? No problem.

  September 18, 2008

  Writing about that stupid Forbes magazine article on Chicago as America's most stressful city is like writing that Sarah Palin is a bloodthirsty demon from hell: Everybody in the media is already doing both, and with gusto.

• Unspeakable, illuminating acts bring world into focus

  September 17, 2008

  In the world of words, of politics and symbolism and sarcasm, it is often convenient to think of good and evil as abstractions. I know this because I make a living in that oily sandbox.

• Lipstick on any animal is lousy political fodder

  September 13, 2008

  Yet another sign of the apocalypse is the spectacle of American presidential candidates consumed with putting lipstick on pigs.

• Overdue perspective offers hope for cop in Iowa mess

  September 12, 2008

  DES MOINES — After an Iowa appeals court judge on Thursday began asking common-sense questions about the case of wronged Chicago cop Mike Mette—injecting common sense for the first time in this wretched case—the temptation was there for Mette's family and friends to get their hopes up.

• Jailed Chicago cop to get backup at Iowa appeal

  September 11, 2008

  A few hours before dawn on Thursday, a bus carrying Chicago police officers was scheduled to leave the city for the long drive to Des Moines to show support for young Chicago cop Mike Mette as his case goes before the Iowa Court of Appeals.

• A Democratic machine in Chicago? Don't be naive

  September 6, 2008

  ST. PAUL — A Tribune news bulletin of great importance flashed on my electronic slave collar (elitists would call it a BlackBerry) at the Republican National Convention:

• GOP has 2 pillars of reform: But 1 is rotten to the core

  September 5, 2008

  ST. PAUL — John McCain hadn't yet uttered one word Thursday about reform and cutting pork-barrel spending when reform caused one of those awkward moments at the convention hall between two Illinois Republicans on either side of the issue, two men who really can't stand each other.

• When Daley says shhh, library is quiet on Obama

  August 21, 2008

  Conservative writer Stanley Kurtz—researching an article for the National Review about connections between Barack Obama and former Weather Underground terrorist William Ayers—made a big mistake.

• Chicago cop in Iowa prison while drunk is on the loose

  August 3, 2008

  Chicago Police Supt. Jody Weis and Cook County State's Atty. Dick Devine have asked Iowa Gov. Chet Culver for justice in the case of Chicago cop Mike Mette.

• Media's guilt plays well for Obama and McCain

  July 23, 2008

  The Drudge Report ran a juicy item about the fact that only one reporter showed up to cover Republican John McCain at a campaign stop in New Hampshire the other day.

• Obama backers on the left are doing the wincing now

  July 13, 2008

  When Jesse Jackson's Castrato-gate or the Barack Obama Nuts Controversy or whatever you want to call it erupted last week—as captured by the hot microphones of Fox News—terrible cries of pain went unnoticed.

• Jackson's cutting remark may be helpful to Obama

  July 10, 2008

  So what part of Barack Obama will Rev. Al Sharpton want to chop off now?

• Iowa sends thug to church while ex-cop rots in prison

  April 4, 2008

  The thug Pachino Hill and former Chicago Police Officer Michael Mette have something in common:

• There's no real justice in Iowa politics

  January 4, 2008

  The assault on the people of Iowa by national politicians telling them what they want to hear is now over and done.

• There's no real justice in Iowa politics

  January 4, 2008

  The assault on the people of Iowa by national politicians telling them what they want to hear is now over and done.

• Bad PR for officers claims wrong man

  November 1, 2007

  What do you talk about when you're driving your son to prison?

• Bad PR for officers claims wrong man

  November 1, 2007

  What do you talk about when you're driving your son to prison?

• Self-defense is, inexplicably, no defense

  October 28, 2007

  On Sunday, Bob Mette and his son, Mike, 30, will go to the game at Soldier Field to watch the Bears play the Lions. On Monday, Bob will drive Mike to Iowa, to prison. Mike Mette, until recently a Chicago police officer, is scheduled to begin serving a 5-year prison sentence.His crime? According to the judge's ruling, Mike threw one punch at an angry drunk who chased Mike down the street and attacked him verbally, physically, repeatedly.

• Why I can't let 'Family Secrets' slide

  August 30, 2007

  There was a break in the courtroom action at the Chicago Outfit trial called Family Secrets, so I took a walk outside the federal building, wondering how to explain my obsession to you.

• Finally, wronged cop gets some support

  July 22, 2007

  Michael Mette -- the young Chicago police officer sentenced to an Iowa prison for 5 years for the crime of defending himself against an angry drunk in Dubuque -- wanted to thank the readers of this column.

• Finally, wronged cop gets some support

  July 22, 2007

  Michael Mette -- the young Chicago police officer sentenced to an Iowa prison for 5 years for the crime of defending himself against an angry drunk in Dubuque -- wanted to thank the readers of this column.

• This officer's sentence is hogwash

  July 15, 2007

  In an Iowa criminal case that smells of a thousand hogs, a young Chicago police officer was sentenced last week to 5 years in prison for defending himself against an attack by two large, drunken men, even though he testified that he repeatedly tried avoiding a fight.

• 'Fast Eddie' finally gets nailed

  May 10, 2007

  I always figured Fast Eddie Vrdolyak to take up space in the trunk of a Cadillac in Rosemont or Cicero before he'd ever take up space in a federal corruption case, but today I'm wrong about him, again.

• Fearful silence echoes among parents

  April 18, 2007

  If you don't have children, you can't understand how millions of parents are dealing with Cho Seung Hui, who put a bullet into his own head after killing 32 people, most of them students, at Virginia Tech this week.

• News about us is just part of the news

  April 3, 2007

  A.fter a week of a relaxing family vacation, watching the cherry blossoms pop in Washington, D.C., I came back to work to the news that Tribune Co. had been sold and the Cubs are up for sale.

• Pass the vinegar and let the trial begin

  March 14, 2007

  You're probably unaware that hordes of Canadians have descended upon Chicago for Wednesday's opening of the federal fraud trial of Lord Conrad Black, the flamboyant Canadian press baron who once ran the Chicago Sun-Times.

• Ryan's light sentence isn't the only joke

  September 7, 2006

  The federal judge had a strong prescription for the virus of political corruption infecting Illinois.

• The verdict is not punishment enough

  September 6, 2006

  The crooked and convicted former governor of Illinois is about to be sentenced to prison. And the young U.S. attorney stands eagerly in the federal courtroom.

• A tortuous path to not blaming Daley

  July 20, 2006

  If there's anything that qualifies as a white paper--one of those lengthy political policy reports--it's the 292-page tome released Wednesday by special prosecutors with Regular Democratic Organization roots.

• Ground shifts on corruption in Illinois

  July 9, 2006

  I won't say that the common understanding of political corruption has been radicalized by the recent guilty verdicts of politicians.

• A taste of what's to come?

  July 7, 2006

  The 60th birthday dinner for President Bush in Chicago--with Mayor Richard Daley as the clout of honor--offered scrumptious delicacies fit for princes to the manor born.

• Wary of trial, politicians stage sideshow

  June 29, 2006

  As a federal jury deliberated Wednesday in the corruption trial of Mayor Richard Daley's underlings, I was a few blocks away, watching the theater of the absurd at City Hall.

• Snicker if you like, but it won't stop feds

  June 28, 2006

  Any doubts as to where the feds are headed with their investigations into political corruption at City Hall should have ended late Tuesday afternoon.

• Defense rails as Sorich falls on sword

  June 27, 2006

  Defense lawyer Thomas Anthony Durkin sure cracked off some hard vowels in his closing argument Monday.

• Diversion a day keeps spotlight away

  June 25, 2006

  The mayor of Chicago has been busy making news that has nothing to do with what will happen in federal court on Monday, when the criminal corruption case against his underlings goes to the jury.

• Readers, give a shout on city jobs clout

  June 21, 2006

  Today you're invited to participate in a time-honored Chicago political tradition.

• `A Dad's Delight' is story for everyone

  June 15, 2006

  Janet and Scott Willis are scheduled to hold a news conference Thursday morning at the Kids Club in the Cabrini-Green neighborhood.

• Tomczak just goes where he's thrown

  June 7, 2006

  Back when he was on the outside, campaigning for mayor, Rich Daley is said to have revved up his political troops by bragging about what he intended to do to Donald Tomczak, the Bridgeport turncoat.

• Quiet guy lifts the lid off hiring machine

  May 26, 2006

  Picture a red beet in a suit perched in the witness box in federal court, and you can see Jack Drumgould.

• Insider's details hurt diversity defense

  May 17, 2006

  In federal court Tuesday, I hoped to hear more about how the City Hall patronage scandal isn't really about how the mayor's guys violated a federal court order and put hundreds of unqualified stooges on the public payroll to protect their white political boss.

• The real point? City Hall hiring, not me

  May 16, 2006

  Whether or not Mayor Richard Daley's political City Hall underlings are convicted of violating federal law in helping Daley amass a giant patronage army, I'll probably have to take legal action.

• Sorich trial jury pool knows who's who

  May 11, 2006

  The federal trial of Mayor Richard Daley's underlings--don't call them minions because that might poison the jury pool--opened Wednesday with great umbrage taken against yours truly, humble scrivener and chronicler of civic truth and beauty.

• For agent on Ryan case, it's a team thing

  April 21, 2006

  If you want to know more about FBI Special Agent Ray Ruebenson Jr., who delayed his retirement to finish investigating corrupt former Gov. George Ryan, you'll have to do something first. You'll have to read these names:

• 2 senators ask feds to probe one of own

  April 20, 2006

  U.S. Senators Richard Durbin and Barack Obama have asked the Bush Justice Department to investigate federal prosecutor Ed McNally, until recently the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of Illinois, for circumstances surrounding his testimony on behalf of convicted former Republican Gov. George Ryan.

• With mistrial in air, Ryan judge says `no'

  March 29, 2006

  When U.S. District Judge Rebecca Pallmeyer began talking Tuesday in her courtroom in the corruption trial of former Gov. George Ryan, I couldn't help it.

• Ryan trial haunted by 2 big questions

  March 26, 2006

  After reading the revelations in the Tribune about two folks on George Ryan's federal jury--their apparent rap sheets weren't discovered until investigative reporter Ray Gibson began checking public records the other day--I'm as astounded as you must be.

• Verdict a nail-biter for feds' next targets

  March 12, 2006

  Like it or not, by this time next week, former Gov. George Ryan and his buddy, Larry Warner, may walk free.

• Collins hangs 'red flags' all over Ryan

  March 10, 2006

  It took only about an hour for Assistant U.S. Atty. Patrick Collins to obliterate two days' worth of high-priced legal defense spinning in the federal case against former Gov. George Ryan.

• Hours of denial won't chase rain clouds

  March 9, 2006

  Dan Webb's white hands poked out of his gray suit like a couple of wading birds pecking along a mud flat at low tide.

• Webb weaves drama and spin for jury

  March 8, 2006

  It's hard to doze with a man shouting about seven years of hell in a quiet room.

• Is it chump change if we're the chumps?

  March 7, 2006

  Could you live on $174 in cash for an entire year?

• Special witness poses a special threat

  February 24, 2006

  A few days ago in federal court, lawyers from Winston & Strawn, the giant law firm run by former Gov. Jim Thompson, were busy representing former Gov. George Ryan in his corruption trial.

• Ryan as Abe: Why not dress the part?

  February 23, 2006

  Maybe George Ryan is being brave by not testifying in his own defense. He certainly has that right. And let's not forget it.

• Why can't Daley even say `corruption'?

  February 8, 2006

  Mayor Richard Daley gave a 45-minute State of the City address but didn't mention the word "corruption" even once. Naturally, as part of our current events quiz for today, this means that:

• Slime rate of state politics drops again

  February 5, 2006

  A reader called to complain about Republican George Ryan's Christmas card defense.

• Bush let himself take blame for Katrina mess

  September 11, 2005

  President George Bush insisted for days that it wasn't nice to play the blame game over Hurricane Katrina.

• Mayor swayed by shiny objects, such as badges

  May 5, 2005

  Mayor Richard Daley is an extremely complex man. He's been Mayor Little Big Man, Mayor Fredo, Mayor Idunno, Mayor Details, Mayor Fedheimers and Mayor Queeg.

• Hull learning nothing fair in Illinois politics

  February 29, 2004

  Blair Hull is the multimillionaire Democrat spending his own cash to campaign for the U.S. Senate in Illinois.

• Small talk ends when GOP boss' name comes up

  January 29, 2004

  Illinois Republicans campaigning to replace outgoing U.S. Sen. Peter Fitzgerald (R-Ill.) got a bit testy with each other during a Tribune editorial board meeting Wednesday.