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Review: 'Hurl!'

Verne Gay

July 14, 2008

Reason to watch: There's no reason to watch. There are plenty of reasons not to watch. Consider this fair warning.

What it's about: Whoever eats the most and hurls the least wins a thousand dollars. Simple! A bunch of guys start slugging down heapin' helpings of mac- and-cheese, and whoever can slop down the most in three minutes - without you know what - moves onto the "balls of hurl." These are steel things the guys are strapped into. They roll around. Then they move onto pies (organic pumpkin, we're told), then - finally - cream. There's plenty of standard-issue tongue-in-cheek commentary, along the lines of "it's a privilege to watch competitors like this gutting it out," or "these are true gustatorial gladiators." There's vomit, too, helpfully obscured by computer-animated buckets.

Bottom line: In the mind of every TV exec running a little-watched network aimed at guys, there lurks a devil that insistently whispers into his ear: "Do a show that's really stupid and gross and useless and they will come." These execs sometimes ignore the voice, or sometimes obey, which is how (you know) "Jackass" got on the air and apparently how "Hurl!" has. A reality competition about ... ahhh ... regurgitation? At least this is a first. And last. Do yourself a favor. Keep the TV far away from G4 tonight. Life's too short, food's too precious and some ideas - no matter how gross, stupid and useless - will actually repel rather than attract viewers. "Hurl!", I'm reasonably sure, is the perfect case in point.

Hurl!