Pomp and happy circumstances

Joye Brown

May 11, 2008

Melinda and Diane Harvey of Huntington are storming the well-stocked aisles of Estelle's Dressy Dresses in Farmingdale. They're looking for extra-special Mother's Day outfits.

Melinda: Mom, are you against pants?

Diane: I like pants.

Melinda: No, I mean like a nice pantsuit.

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The mother-daughter combo moves quickly, stopping here, shifting through hangers there. Looking and looking. In short order, they've got dresses, more than a dozen.

Diane: Grab that red dress, if you like.

Melinda: That would be great, because I really want red shoes.

Diane: You could get the red shoes.

Melinda, 21, will graduate from C.W. Post today, with a nutrition degree from the School of Health Professions and Nursing, where she was in the honors program.

She was carrying 11 dresses during Thursday's shopping trip. "It's exciting because graduation is on Mother's Day, so it's already about my mom," she said.

But, wait.

Melinda's mom, Diane, 48, is graduating from C.W. Post today, too, with a degree from the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences.

She was carrying just five dresses as the pair settled into the fitting room.

Melinda: You look adorable, but maybe you should take your socks off.

Diane: This dress is cute, especially with anklets.

It took two years for Melinda, who had an associate's degree in culinary arts, to earn her bachelor's degree; for Diane, the task took far longer.

She began working on a psychology degree in 2003, taking three to six credits a semester, all the while balancing the demands of home - which she and Melinda share with dad, Thomas, and 18-year-old Dillon, a C.W. Post freshman - and work as a YMCA youth director.

Diane nearly doubled her usual workload in order to graduate today. Otherwise she'd finish next year. The final semester's demands - which included working with lab partners, T.J. and Jessica, to Skinner-box train a rat named Squishy - were difficult, she said.

But before she even began, Diane secured Melinda's permission to share a Mother's Day graduation.

"She's strived for this," Diane said, as she hunted for the perfect pair of shoes, while Melinda went back to the fitting room to look at another dress.

"She's got such strength. ... She's grown to a woman before my eyes. She's on the precipice of everything she is about to become. My biggest, most important assignment has come to fruition and she's ready to stand on her own."

And then Diane began to cry.

So did Linda Ezzam, the store's general manager, who was sitting nearby. "What she is saying," Ezzam said, "I want to say about my own daughter, Marleen, who is graduating in another week from Farmingdale State." (Ezzam was so moved that she called the store's owner, Estelle Schlossberg, who would later stun Diane and Melinda by offering her congratulations and a gift of their graduation dresses.)

Diane and Melinda, meanwhile, stayed busy, each settling on two dresses, one for graduation, where mother and daughter will march, side by side, in their caps and gowns; another for the family's graduation-Mother's Day bash that would follow.

Melinda: This is it, I'm ready for graduation.

Diane: Mazel tov!

And Happy Mother's Day.