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Henican: Hillary an Everyone, in some fashion

Ellis Henican

February 10, 2008

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Finally, a Hillary experience we can all relate to - the inexplicable and indefensible fashion choice that seemed so right at the time.

Love the short-pants golf ensemble, Hil! ("Not exactly a hole in one," she concedes.)

And those brightly striped thigh-huggers from the Wellesley College dorm! ("It's not my fault. It was the '60s.")

And the swirl-of-colors outerwear! ("I'm a big believer in recycling - even carpets," she says.)

Ellis Henican Bio | E-mail | Recent columns

Suddenly, in her obvious ineptness at finding just the right look for just the right time, Hillary Clinton is Everywoman - and Everyman.

Most of us fail at this, at least sometimes.

In agreeing to play along with US Weekly's "My Worst Outfit Ever," the fashion-challenged Clinton displayed a real understanding of a key American insecurity.

From time to time we're all convinced we have nothing decent to wear.

Or even worse: We're proud at the time of what we're wearing, only to realize later how tragically wrong we were.

Who hasn't looked back at an ancient photo - that outfit, that hairstyle, that mishmash of clashing colors - and cringed?

Hillary's case, the fashion faux pas are already in wide circulation. It's not as though she can edit out the past poor taste. Whatever else she does in life, she'll be remembered, yes, for her health care plan - and for her dowdy pantsuits, too.

But instead of taking offense or letting her voice get shrill or calling earth-tone adviser Naomi Wolf, Hillary recognized a genuine connection here.

She's been where all of us have - asking way, way too late, "What on Earth was I thinking wearing THAT?"

FREE AT LAST: Private eye Artie Grix continues his amazing run freeing the falsely accused. His latest release? Nassau Community College student Christopher Lupoli. Chris swore he was in a computer lab on the Uniondale campus Oct. 13, 2006 - therefore couldn't have committed a brutal street robbery in Whitestone. Artie found the ID swipes and cell phone call that proved it. And the Queens DA agrees.

SECRET BALLOT? Ha! Today's data miners know everything! Political insiders are wide-eyed over a new software toy from the Hive Group. "Honeycomb" reveals hidden patterns and tendencies inside voter behavior. Mess around with a demo version, if you like, at hivegroup.com/election2008.

ELLIS' BOOK CLUB: In "Daydream Believers: How a Few Grand Ideas Wrecked American Power," Slate's indispensable military columnist Fred Kaplan reveals how a few obscure theorists sold a president and a nation on a whole new way of confronting the world. It didn't work out so well. Here's the secret history of the foreign-policy fix we're in - maddening, tragic and oh-so-avoidable.

ASKED AND UNANSWERED: You saw the perp-walk photos, right? Now do you understand why no one calls the Gambinos "svelte-fellas" ... Canine reversal: What if all the Westminster dogs got together this year and decided to show the humans instead? Everyone already knows who owns whom ... Any answer from McCain HQ on Judith Nathan's kind offer to campaign? Wonder what's taking so long ... What? You think Greg Graziano, assistant superintendent at the Great Neck North water board, SHOULDN'T get a $38,300 raise (to $140,000) just because his dad is superintendent? Wouldn't that be reverse discrimination or something? ... How surprised was Roger Clemens when he first heard the words "saved the needles"? ... Did you know that Heidi Fleiss, the fallen Hollywood madam, owns a Nevada laundromat called "Dirty Laundry"? At least the woman can laugh at her past ... Question for Christopher Quinn, 26, recently of the Babylon LIRR lot: If you steal a GPS device from a car, can the cops tell where the little gizmo goes next? ... Why would a couple of local teens want to torch Party City in Carle Place? Super Bowl invites lost in the mail? ... Is it really fair to keep describing the "Western Beef" Castellana family as "distant cousins of slain Gambino crime boss Paul Castellano"? You want to take responsibility for all YOUR relatives? ... Britney's out of the shrink ward, y'all: Any reason for concern? ... OTB critic Mike Bloomberg has a point, doesn't he? Who ever heard of a bookie joint that keeps losing money?

NEVER IN STYLE

1 Rudy’s brand of humility

2 Mitt’s dollars-per-delegate

3 Barack’s deep experience

4 McCain’s short-fuse temper

5 Hil’s easy charm