Better Arnold Schwarzenegger remake options
Full disclosure: Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Total Recall" is one of my favorite movies. I could watch it all day long. And it's a standard lament, but there's no reason to remake great movies - as has the team behind the new version of "Recall" opening Friday - even if the producers go back to the original source material, in this case a Philip K. Dick short story. The world simply doesn't need a new "Total Recall." The first is awesome.
If you insist on reviving Arnold's past fare, why not remake some of his bad films instead? Here are five Arnold clunkers that we'd rather see remade. Who knows? Maybe the new ones would be better:
'Red Sonja' (1985)
They already made a new version of "Conan the Barbarian" last year, so the time is right for a new vision to be applied to this equally barbaric film, in which the title woman seeks revenge with the help of Arnold's Kalidor. Jason Momoa was solid in the new "Conan," so why play Kalidor, too?
'Last Action Hero' (1993)
Arnold came back from "Terminator 2" with this comedy about a boy that gets a magic ticket which transports him into the world of his favorite action hero, played by Schwarzenegger. Meanwhile, a villain from the movie world switches over into reality and goes after the big man himself. This screenplay - the screenwriting debut of Zak Penn, who would go on to write "X-Men: The Last Stand" and "The Incredible Hulk" - could work well with an affable action star like Chris Evans.
"Twins" stars Arnold and Danny DeVito reunite for another family comedy. In this one, they play doctors working on a drug that will help a woman's body accept an embryo. When the funding gets cut, Arnold's Dr. Alex Hesse takes the drug himself and gets impregnated. Ensue many jokes about a large pregnant man. I'm smelling a Zach Galifianakis comedy here, right?
'End of Days' (1999)
Satan is looking for love and it's up to former cop Jericho Cane (played by Schwarzenegger) to stop him. And the cop is an atheist! Sign up Luke Perry for the lead, air it on Syfy channel on a balmy summer Saturday night and let's call it an evening.
'The 6th Day' (2000)
Arnold's first big sci-fi film after 1991's "Terminator 2" has him playing a man who finds his clone living with his family. You know what happens next, right? Chases and guns! With the right director and a tidy rewrite, this could be a winner. I'd hire "Children of Men" director Alfonso Cuarón and reunite him with star Clive Owen for what could be a smart, cerebral thriller.