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Coming home to heal the scars of war

BY MARTIN C. EVANS | STAFF WRITER

October 28, 2005

Sgt. First Class Arnold Reyes, finally back home last month after a year in Iraq, wanted to make time to be fully present with his young daughter.

He planned to camp with 7-year-old Brianna on the patio behind their Stony Brook home, watch videos with her on a portable player and slumber together under the stars.

It was getting into the tent one night that beckoned the memory. It lasted just an instant. Just enough to remind him that for soldiers lucky enough to come home, the war is never fully over.

"It just went through my head for a minute, the thought of mortars raining down on us," Reyes, 39, recalled as he sat in his living room with his wife. "Because when you were over there, you just didn't have a safe zone. You just never knew what was on the other side of the wall."

With the number of American soldiers killed in Iraq having topped the 2,000 mark, those fortunate enough to return face the task of putting the war behind them and resuming their lives.

Some are getting reacquainted with wives and children they left behind a year or more ago. Many face the task of catching up on bills, or fixing homes that have gone in need of repair. Some lost jobs or had their businesses falter while they were gone.

More than a few have found they have returned home with their war anxieties.

"They are witnessing far more traumatic experiences than they did in the first Gulf war," said Terri Tanielian, a senior military health policy analyst for the Rand Corporation.

The longer deployments, fiercer engagements and greater number of casualties have left Iraq war veterans more vulnerable to psychological trauma than Gulf War veterans, Tanielian said.

She said many soldiers may be shunning counseling services offered by the military out of a misplaced sense of honor.

"Their training is to go on with the mission and put on the brave face," Tanielian said.

Reyes, who was responsible for a platoon of soldiers stationed near the Baghdad airport, said he was not among a few members of his company who sought psychological counseling before coming home.

"I've been very fortunate," Reyes said. "I've not had any problems. But you never know. It could crop up in six months."

Since his September return from Iraq, Reyes, a Suffolk County police officer, has busied himself catching up with home life. He has sought to assure his daughter that military service is important.

This week, he painted his son's room. When he left for battle, it had been a nursery where Reyes would put his 18-month-old toddler to sleep. Now, it is a "big boy's room" for an energetic 3-year-old.

Another recent returnee is Staff Sgt. Benjamin Lewis, of Medford, another New York National Guard member of the Fighting 69th.

Lewis, 46, has spent much of his time trying to pick up where his life left off.

He has delayed going back to his job with the Nassau sheriff's department until December, so that he can catch up on work on his Medford home.

He has visited the grave of his parents. He has traveled to assure relatives in Virginia that he is OK.

Still, coming home for him has not been an easy adjustment.

He does not sleep as well as he did before he left. Routine aspects of life leave him tense.

When he drives, he finds himself scanning the road far in front of him, as if still threatened by roadside bombs that have killed hundreds of his fellow soldiers in Iraq.

"Sometimes I see a box or a package and I swerve over and then I realize I'm not over there anymore," Lewis said.

But he said support from home while he was away helped him cope with the stresses of war.

His colleagues in the sheriff's office sent packages and encouragement. His wife called often - daily when military action did not keep him away from the phone - and they spoke as long as 2 1/2 hours at a time.

Lewis said despite the loss of more than 2,000 American lives, he believes the war has been worth the sacrifices he made.

"I saw the faces of people over there, and they are finally tasting a little freedom," Lewis said. "I think we made a difference over there."