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A look at political wives embroiled in scandal

BY MELANIE LEFKOWITZ | melanie.lefkowitz@newsday.com; COMPILED BY MELANIE

March 23, 2008

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that women in public life need skin as tough as rhinoceros hide.

If they have it, they're lucky because lately it's been a jungle out there for political wives.

The examples are suddenly everywhere: Silda Wall Spitzer standing at her husband's side as he resigns amid accusations he patronized prostitutes. Dina Matos McGreevey furiously rebutting claims that she and her husband, the former governor of New Jersey, had regular threesomes with a male driver. Michelle Paige Paterson standing next to her husband David as he told reporters that both of them had had affairs.

All poised, accomplished women who continued to pursue their own careers and goals as their husbands climbed political ladders. And now, their husbands' political aspirations - as well as their apparent indiscretions - have forced all three women to publicly address what most families would consider excruciatingly personal.

"When people ask me how I kept going during such a wrenching time, I tell them that there is nothing remarkable about getting up and going to work every day, even when there is a family crisis at home," Hillary Rodham Clinton, a veteran of what might have been the most infamous political sex scandal in presidential history, wrote in her memoir (where she also quoted Roosevelt's rhinoceros hide remark). "I just had to do it all in the public eye."

But doing it all in the public eye is no mean feat.

Last month, Cindy McCain, wife of presumptive Republican nominee for president John McCain, stood calmly next to her husband when he denied a New York Times story that suggested he had an improper relationship with a female lobbyist.

"Having all your dirty wash aired publicly, it's got to be humiliating and it's got to be difficult to maintain grace under fire, though so many of them do it," said Myra Gutin, a communications professor at Rider University who wrote a book called "The President's Partner: The First Lady in the 20th Century." "I was frankly amazed at the composure of Mrs. Spitzer."

It's not just the sex scandals. Political spouses also face the sometimes-agonizing chore of watching from the sidelines - expressions in full view - as their partners bare their souls and fight for their futures before massive audiences. Perhaps the most striking example of a political wife suffering in the public eye can be seen in images of Jackie Kennedy in the hours and days after the assassination of her husband, John Kennedy.

Last week, Michelle Obama listened intently to Barack Obama's speech about race - a personal speech with revelations about his family, and which could change the outcome of his candidacy. Bill and Hillary Clinton have reversed roles, with him watching as she takes the heat of constant scrutiny.

The tradition of the loyal spouse looking on stretches back to Pat Nixon, Gutin said, listening as her husband spoke about their strained finances and her "respectable Republican cloth coat" in his famous 1952 "Checkers" speech.

"Even now watching that film it's hard to watch her," Gutin said. "She was so embarrassed and so humiliated but she stuck by her man."

Not all of them do. Matos McGreevey was there the day her husband came out as a "gay American," but she wasn't around for much longer after that. The two are now embroiled in a bitter divorce. And not only was Donna Hanover absent the day Mayor Rudy Giuliani announced that their marriage was over and alluded to his own affair, he hadn't even consulted her about it first.

Here's a look at some political wives whose personal business became political, and vice versa.

SILDA WALL SPITZER

What he did: Federal prosecutors say former Gov. Eliot Spitzer paid for a high-priced call girl to visit him in a posh Washington hotel the night before Valentine's Day. Though he hasn't acknowledged the accusations directly, Spitzer resigned and apologized for acting "in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong."

What she did: Stood silently at his side during his two brief statements to the press. Some confidantes have said that she had urged her husband to fight back and not resign. She has not spoken out publicly.

How it ended: We're still waiting to find out.

MICHELLE PAIGE PATERSON

What he did: During a "rough spot" in their marriage, Gov. David A. Paterson said he had affairs with "a number of women," including a state employee. Michelle Paige Paterson also committed adultery, he said, but he did not provide details.