Punchlines

Compiled by Ken Rasak, who can be reached at ken@kenrasak.com

February 7, 2008

Comedy writer Jake Novak: "The New York Giants stunned the previously undefeated Tom Brady and the New England Patriots by winning Super Bowl XLII. Brady was later consoled by his supermodel girlfriend, who assured him that 'this happens to lots of guys.'"

Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Experts say that this may have been the most watched Super Bowl in history, and that's not even including all the Patriots' spy cameras."

Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher": "Hillary and Obama debated at the Kodak Theatre [in L.A.]. The camera showed so many celebrities in the audience I thought I was watching a Lakers game."

David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman," on Super Tuesday: "Well, it's all over now, Hillary can remove the duct tape from Bill's mouth."

Comedy writer Pedro Bartes on pundit Ann Coulter's support for Hillary Clinton: "Political analysts were shocked, because everybody knows Hillary doesn't poll well among men."

Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg on "The Eye," new in theaters: "A woman, played by Jessica Alba, who is given sight by a cornea transplant, discovers she can see what her cornea donor saw. It's a terrifying horror movie because her cornea donor was an Oakland Raider fan."

Maher on Rudy Giuliani's dropping out of the presidential race: "I will miss the arguments he had with Mitt Romney. It was like a Halloween costume debating a mannequin."