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You're history! But we all are

Ellis Henican

August 31, 2008

Are you feeling historic yet?

Of course you are. We keep making history, every historic day and night.

On Thursday, it was Barack Obama's historic nomination, the first African-American major-party presidential candidate. No denying that was historic.

On Friday, John McCain's advisers said he was making history too, naming a 44-year-old woman from Alaska as his running mate. Never had one of those before.

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And why stop with politics?

Historic speeches, historic storms, historic openings at the box office, historic achievements everywhere you looked. These days, it's not enough just to do something brilliant or something noteworthy or something great. It has to be all of those things - and never done before.

And goody for them!

But the problem with all this focus on historic is that it tends to dull out the relative importance of the various achievements. The other problem is that it makes no judgment at all on whether these various accomplishments are bad, good, horrific or wonderful.

Gustav may or may not surpass the historic damage of Katrina - probably not. But either way, it will do the damage that it does or it doesn't, history be damned.

And while Sarah Palin is indeed the first woman from Alaska nominated for vice president, that's a very narrower category that the one Obama achieved in - and one with less history to overcome. Geraldine Ferraro got the big historic prize there, unless McCain and Palin find their way in November to a bigger one.

Then, there's the historic achievement of the "Batman" sort. No doubt, its soaring box office returns were sweet news to the actors, the director and (especially) the investors. But honestly, why should the moviegoing masses really care?

No, not all history is created equal. Some of it's hardly historic at all.

The truth of the matter is that being historic in and of itself is not worth striving for. There's historic stupidity, historic tastelessness, historic traffic jams on the Southern State and the LIE.

So take your bows, you history-makers high and low. Just remember how far it gets you and how far it does not.

ONE TO GO: Of the 344 graduates of the Class of 1958 at Dominican Commercial High School in Jamaica, 343 have now been located by the 50th reunion organizing committee. So will Joyce A. Slattery - or someone with a lead on her whereabouts - please phone 347-239-5541 or e-mail dc1958@optonline.net? The big Oct. 4 blowout won't be the same without you!

PEDAL PUSHERS: Have you signed up yet for the MS 150 Twin Forks Bike Ride, set for Sept. 13-14? The LI chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, www.nmssli.org, is vowing to double the size of last year's fundraising ride. How hard could that be? "If every cyclist asks two friends to join them, we would triple last year's numbers," says vice president of development Stacy Bona, thinking bigger still.

ASKED AND UNANSWERED: Will the NYPD's "Bling Bandit" get to wear his flashy watch and pinkie ring in prison? Those were his sartorial trademarks, after all ... Does Long Island homesickness explain Junior Gotti's urgent change-of-venue motion in Tampa? Or does his send-me-home-please request have a bit more to do with his impressive win-loss record in New York? ... Will George "I've Done a Great Job" Motz, indicted in a $1.4 million investment fraud, serve out his term as mayor of Quogue? Is $1.4 mil really considered petty larceny in the upscale East End village? ... Did you believe the "not so bad" reports about West Nile virus this summer? The families of a (late) 75-year-old from Carle Place and a (late) 80-year-old from New Hyde Park are among the skeptics ... When Lindsay Lohan poison-blogs dad Michael as "a public embarrassment" and "a bully," does she really mean it? Or is she simply hinting she might be available for "Mean Girls 2"? ... Why don't alleged druggies pay more attention to the traffic laws? John Presti and Destry Pereira, stopped on Merrick Road for changing lanes without signaling, had 15 small bags of cocaine and $6,000 cash in a '92 Mazda, according to police ... "Which is worse for business?" charter boat operators in Montauk want to know. "High gas prices for the customers - or higher diesel prices for us?" ... Quick: Which local pol will be the first to claim credit for a decline in the Census Bureau's Long Island poverty rate? You know how good news rarely goes unclaimed! ... If Dowling poll director Michael Dawidziak is right and Long Island demographics are "very much like the key swing states," who's up for a 516-631 primary in 2012? Might sound unlikely, but does it hurt to ask? ... How 'bout some extra prayers this weekend for the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast? Faith in the levees hasn't been proving so divine.

E-mail ellis@henican.com.

NOW THAT WOULD BE HISTORIC

1 Great-tasting, no-calorie desserts

2 Tax cuts that really do pay for themselves

3 Empty flattery completely believable

4 Peace on earth, good will to men

5 Exercise that never stops being fun