August 21, 2008
Punchlines
David Letterman, "Late Show With David Letterman": "It was
one of those sting deals. And they caught Eliot Spitzer with a wire, recording him soliciting a prostitute. And I'm thinking, 'Holy cow, we can't get bin Laden, but we got Spitzer.' "
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "Apparently Gov. Spitzer was arranging his tryst with the escort service in a Washington, D.C., hotel room. I guess this is what he meant by getting crime out of New York."
Amy Poehler, "Saturday Night Live": "A voluntary adviser to Barack Obama resigned Friday after calling rival Hillary Clinton a 'monster.' Responded Hillary, 'Arrghhh.'"
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Voters in two Vermont towns have called for the arrest of President Bush and Vice President Cheney should they ever visit. When Bush was told the law was nonbinding and symbolic, he said, 'Oh, you mean like the U.S. Constitution?'"
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "A vast array of pharmaceuticals, including anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones, have been found in the drinking water in hundreds of American cities. Well, that explains the last two presidential elections."
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