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Teen pregnancy in the spotlight

MICHELLE CHEN

Since vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin revealed that her teenage daughter Bristol is going to have a baby, the electoral race has put a spotlight on teen pregnancy. But for many young people across the country, the story is nothing new. Our Sunday opinion essay talks about the various issues that teens face when dealing with pregnancy and raising a family on their own.

Here are some excerpts from other essays by young mothers, published by the New York City-based media project Youth Communication.

Maya Noy, "Finding My Mother Instinct"

My biggest fear was that I knew close to nothing about motherhood and I didn't have the best role model. I felt like my mother didn't want children, and maybe even resented having my brother and me. My mom always seemed critical, distant and uninterested in me, and I grew up to be self-critical and depressed.

I feared that, as a parent, I would turn out like my mother, and my child would turn out like me. I wondered if my child might not like me. I thought she was destined to be miserable because I was so miserable most of my life....

To get through my days, I pushed my fears to the back of my mind and pretended that I wasn't pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I went to my doctor's appointments, and had all the prenatal care you could ask for, but I was just going through the motions....

As my daughter's birth drew closer, I still couldn't really imagine myself as a parent. I couldn't picture holding, feeding, bathing or rocking my daughter. But I did finally take a big step toward acknowledging that I would soon be a parent. I bought a stroller. It was the first thing I bought for my baby, and it made her arrival seem more real.....

But when I was working on my baby's room, I still felt detached, almost like I was designing it for someone else. That feeling was even with me after I gave birth. When I brought my daughter home from the hospital, I stared and stared, like, "How did she get here?"

For the next few months, Jaiya slept in a bassinet in my room. I almost forgot her room existed. But when people made the rounds to see my baby, they complimented us on the room, and I started to feel that it was real, that my baby was real and that I was really a mom.

Vanessa Sanchez, "Growing up together"

What I've learned is that parenting is all about confusion. I am always confused about little things, like whether I should give John a time out, or whether to give him juice when bedtime is around the corner. Should I say no, or do I say no too often?

I am also confused about the big things: which school I should put him in, whether John is learning the right behavior from me, if he's growing into a good kid.

I look for signs that John is doing well. I see that John has good qualities: He's loving and helpful and very entertaining. Our communication has developed so we understand each other better now.

Just the other day I was sick and he came and rubbed my back, saying, "Mommy, you all right?" I was feeling half-dead, but I was able to crack a smile, because my baby came along with a thermometer saying, "Turn over, Mommy, I'll help you."...

Now I understand why people say, "You're too young!" Being a single mother is something you need to be mentally prepared for. My advice to other girls is to wait!

But I also like that my son is here with me through my own years of growing. I started college again in the fall, and over my winter break, I kept John home from pre-school most days. I wanted the extra time with him. I am bored at home with no one to tell, "Stop that!" or, "Come play ball with me," I was also able to work on his behavior so that when he returned he listened to the teacher more.

There are times when John and I are home and I say to myself, "Wow, my baby is growing so fast." I know I have to keep growing at a fast pace, too, to be the mother I want to be. I'm determined to set us both on the right path and make my son proud. John will be there to see me finish college and will be learning from me as I start a career.

For more stories about issues facing youth today, go to the Youth Communication website.

What do you think about teen pregnancy and how society deals with young parenthood and reproductive health? Weigh in on our online discussion board.