Keep a tight family by including kids on New Year's

Once you become a parent, your options for New Year's Eve celebrations seem limited to finding that elusive baby-sitter so you can go out or putting the kids to bed early (and hoping they stay asleep) so you can have an adult party at home. If you're feeling generous, you can promise to wake them just before midnight. But their resulting bleary-eyed crankiness isn't fair to anyone.

An alternative is to include your child in the festivities, creating kid-oriented traditions like the families mentioned inside have done. Doing so can be a lifelong, significant family event, says Mike Robbins, author of "Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation" (Jossey-Bass).

"New Year's Eve is often a forced experience, and it's often followed by a letdown," he says. "People tend to be unimaginative about how they celebrate, so usually there's nothing memorable about it. But the symbolism involved in bringing closure to one year, for both the good and bad, is healthy for children, as well as parents. It's fine to go out and party. But finding ways to make the party meaningful is important for the whole family."

Kids benefit by sharing traditions with their parents, says Alicia Rockmore, co-founder of Buttoned Up Inc., an organizational company with an office in Tarrytown. "I believe in including kids because it's not just about celebrating, but about how to be a better person in the New Year. That's a good conversation to have with kids and an opportunity to bond, no matter what activities you choose together to honor that."

How can you and your children mark New Year's Eve besides wearing those funny 2008 glasses and waving noisemakers? Check out what these families have been doing.

Honoring their heritage

Orlando Ariza of Long Beach and his daughters, Jenny, 16, and Cindy, 8, find that participating in rituals of their Colombian heritage adds to the festivities, especially when it involves their extended family. Ariza says the night starts with a potluck dinner for about 85 relatives and friends. At midnight, his aunt and grandmother follow the Colombian tradition of changing into yellow underwear for good luck.

"My daughters refuse to do that," he says. "However, they do like the tradition of eating 12 green grapes at midnight, one for each month for good luck and health. The nicest part is having the family together. And we make it a point to put aside any dissension from the previous year and have a night of peace. It's a way to start the year off right."

A neighborhood event

For Leslie and Eric Adler of Jericho, spending the holiday with five other couples and their 10 kids, all neighbors, provides their children, Max, 13, and Sydney, 10, with "a sense of being part of an extended family."

"For the past 10 years we've spent New Year's Eve at my home or the home of one of my best friends with our kids," says Leslie. "We live in the same neighborhood, the wives are best friends, the husbands are best friends and the kids (ranging in age from 6 to 14) think of each other as cousins. Two years ago Eric had cancer and they all helped us pull through. I cannot think of a better way to usher in the New Year than being with them and my family."

The event includes comfortable dress - last year the theme was pajamas - and a homemade steak-and-lobster dinner. The men and older boys play the board game Risk, taking time out only to watch the ball drop, says Leslie.

Bowling party

Another group party involves bowling for 23 kids. Alyssa Ascatigno of Farmingdale has been organizing a group bowl at Farmingdale Lanes for two years, where about 40 adults and kids gather to eat, bowl and countdown to "midnight" at 7:45 p.m.

"Eight families get together, and the kids love it. The parents hang out at the party. And the kids can't wait," she says.

For Ascatigno, the fact that it's over by 8 p.m. is appealing. "We've never been big on celebrations for the New Year, so this event makes the kids happy, and we can all go to bed early."

A quiet night at home

Sometimes it's the simplest rituals that kids look forward to. At the Altman home in Rockville Centre, when the ball drops in Times Square, they have a drop of their own at home - a balloon drop, that is.

"We have a loft overlooking our dining room, so it's the perfect setting," says Christine Altman. The kids spend New Year's Day blowing up balloons and then placing them along with curly ribbons in a sheet, which hangs from the loft. "The kids give a tug at midnight and then have fun popping the balloons for days."

In addition, Rachel, 13, and Jacob, 7, help prepare dinner and a fondue spread. "We've never been ones to go out on the town," says Altman. "We always spend the night with friends and family. We've found these traditions at home are more important and give the kids a sense of importance of being with your family and looking to the future together."