A roommate his daughter didn't bargain for - Newsday

A roommate his daughter didn't bargain for

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Ask Amy Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

DEAR AMY: My daughter is a sophomore in college. She lives with three other girls in an apartment. One of her roommates has a boyfriend who stays at their apartment about four days each week. He has started to walk around in his boxers, and my daughter does not appreciate that. At what point has he crossed a line for what should be allowed, and how can my daughter resolve the situation without creating hard feelings with her roommate?

--Concerned Dad

DEAR DAD: It would be swell if your daughter's roommate (and her boyfriend) showed some concern about creating hard feelings with the other roommates in the apartment. You should counsel your daughter to grow a backbone and assert her reasonable rights in a no-nonsense and neutral way.

Let's start with the issue of walking around common areas in boxer shorts. If your daughter doesn't like this, she should say, "Hey, could you put on some pants, please?" It's that simple.

All of the roommates should decide what to allow in the home they share. If they are fine with him moving in, they should mutually determine what the terms are. If they don't want to cohabit with him, then the roommate and her boyfriend should find somewhere else to live.

DEAR AMY: What a heartbreaking letter from "Wanting to Move On." She and her husband had to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons, and her mother was undermining and disrespecting them. I went through exactly the same thing and was so hurt when my parents didn't call me for two weeks after we had to end our first pregnancy. I think they were just so confused about what to say to us, and so they didn't say anything. I think most people can't imagine having to make such a gut-wrenching decision. For what it's worth, we went on to have three great, healthy kids.

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--Chris

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