Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.
DEAR AMY: Years ago, after one of my husband's co-workers began to forward pornographic emails to my husband, we had a discussion about pornography and pictures of naked women. Because it bothers me, my husband asked his friend to stop these emails, which, thankfully, he did. My mother-in-law is one of those people who constantly forwards "junk" emails to my husband, as well as to tons of other people.
She recently forwarded an email containing motorcycle pictures. Each of the motorcycles had a naked woman next to it. When we told my mother-in-law that this was a completely inappropriate email to send to my husband, she claimed she hadn't even thought about the fact it contained naked women, she just thought my husband would like to see the motorcycles. However, as I pointed out, she had sent it only to my husband and his uncle. Usually, her forwards go out to dozens and dozens of people.
And, as I pointed out, she hadn't sent it to her son-in-law, which tells me she respects her daughter's marriage but not mine. I find her behavior and the fact that she is claiming it was an innocent email (if it was so innocent, then why didn't she email it to more people?) despicable and disrespectful of me and my marriage. I am so angry.
Amy, what are your thoughts on this?Furious Wife
DEAR WIFE: My reaction is that your mother-in-law has really figured out how to get your goat.
This email was sent to your husband, not to you. You have most likely correctly identified what she is doing and why. Your husband has bowed to your sensitivities in the past by successfully drawing a boundary. He should do so again.
Though it may be hard to contain your feelings, the less involvement and personal reaction you have, the better.