Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.
DEAR AMY: Our daughter broke up with her first boyfriend in the middle of her senior year of high school. They began dating in her sophomore year. Now they live a 21/2-hour plane ride apart and she is a freshman in college. She remains in casual contact with him online but has no desire to resume a romance. During the time they dated, his mother became "friends" with her on Facebook and continues to comment on her posts and check in on her page. We think this is inappropriate and meddling. Our daughter feels it could be viewed as rude to "unfriend" her. Any thoughts on this sticky situation? Upset ParentsDEAR UPSET: Your daughter has remained in casual contact with her former boyfriend online and his mother is maintaining a casual contact with her on Facebook. Following a Facebook friend's posts is not exactly cyber stalking. Many people maintain contact and friendships with their kids' exes, and despite what you think, this is not necessarily inappropriate unless the responses or comments are.
If your daughter doesn't want this woman to see her posts, she can "unfriend" her, and if this is seen as rude, does she care? Otherwise, she can adjust her privacy settings and prevent this mom from seeing her posts without unfriending her. If the mother notices this and sends her a message to ask why, your daughter can simply be honest and say, "It makes me uncomfortable sharing my personal posts with you."
DEAR AMY: The man who signed his letter "Grateful" wanted to know how to thank his girlfriend's parents for picking up the dinner check. The next time they eat out, he should contact the server privately and direct that he will pick up the check. Servers will help. Been ThereDEAR BEEN THERE: A little dinnertime subterfuge could take care of this nicely.