Something's missing from virtual romance - Newsday

Something's missing from virtual romance

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Ask Amy Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

DEAR AMY: I am an 18-year-old guy. I recently met a girl online. We started communicating a few weeks ago and have contacted each other every day since. We go to college, but in different states. Things are starting to get pretty serious, but, other than video chatting, we have never actually met.

We tell each other that we love each other, but I can't help but wonder how long this can last. With both of us being so busy, I'm not sure when we will actually be able to meet. Is this really all that is "out there" in terms of hope for our future?Concerned With the FutureDEAR CONCERNED: It is definitely possible to feel you've fallen in love virtually, but sometimes this intense attraction and connection will fade fairly quickly once you actually meet. If you can't meet in person soon, then you should back away from the intensity of this until you can meet.

There are so many intangibles to "real" love that it is hard to imagine that what you perceive as an 18-year-old virtually is even in the same ballpark as the real thing with a real person.

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Virtually sometimes people are better, and sometimes they're worse than in real life.

But they're always different.

I wonder why you are spending hours communicating with someone so far away when there is the potential for you to interact (in person) with people who might become great friends (and maybe more).

DEAR AMY: Here's how I handled the problem of teens texting at the table. Although I am great-grandmother age, I have learned to text and enjoy it. Recently, I was at dinner with some undergraduate friends, and one was hunched over his phone. I sent him a text from my phone: "OMG, here comes the food!! Pls put down the phone and join us." We both snickered, and he tucked his phone in his pocket.Tina the TexterDEAR TINA: Now someone has to figure out how to stop you!

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