Tell two-timing boyfriend he has to choose - Newsday

Tell two-timing boyfriend he has to choose

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Ask Amy Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

DEAR AMY: I started a relationship with a co-worker four months ago, even though he has a girlfriend in a long-distance relationship. What started as a physical relationship has turned into something more emotional for us, but this guy is having a hard time parting with his girlfriend. While I am happy when I am with him, it is heartbreaking when I catch him speaking (or texting) with his girlfriend. I am such a tramp to steal another woman's boyfriend, but the love I have for him is genuine. Last week, I decided to take a "break" to think everything through. I don't know if I can handle it if he chooses his girlfriend. Can you help?

--Betwixt

 

DEAR BETWIXT: It's been a long time since I have seen someone identify herself as "a tramp." You don't say if you are also engaged in two relationships at once, so he gets the bag-of-spit award. If this guy loved you, like really, really loved you, he'd ditch his other relationship the minute he realized it.

Your strong emotional feelings have opened your eyes and clarified your intentions. This is high-stakes stuff. Lay it out there in a way that's uncompromising and all about you.

If you want to be in a monogamous relationship with him, then issue an ultimatum. Prepare to be dramatically and tenderly alone. Stock up on Ben and Jerry's and listen to Joni Mitchell's "Blue" album until your sadness passes. And it will pass.

 

DEAR AMY: "Rachel" wrote to you about a "stinky" individual at her gym. One time at my gym, I was on an elliptical machine next to a large gentleman whose body odor was extremely offensive. I couldn't move to another machine. When my workout was finished, I quietly and as unobtrusively as possible said, "You might want to look into a stronger deodorant." He was shocked and embarrassed. Perhaps his nose had become desensitized, because he seemed genuinely and blissfully unaware of the issue. He was mortified and quickly apologized. While I "took one for the team" and said something, I will never forget the look on his face. I felt terrible. I took this as a lesson in tolerance.

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--More Tolerant

 

DEAR TOLERANT: You obviously regret this discreetly expressed suggestion, but it might have been a good thing for the gentleman in question.

I'd like to hear from people who have been "called out" for noticeable odors. This is a perennially awkward issue, and it would be great to learn what works from both sides.

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