Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.
DEAR AMY: My boyfriend and I have our one-year anniversary next month. I planned a trip for us to celebrate in New York. Last week he texted me to meet him at the mall at a certain time for a date. When I got there, I saw him kissing another girl. He walked up to me and tried to kiss me. I rejected it. I asked who that was, and he stuttered. I asked if he was cheating. He stuttered again. I broke up with him. He came to my house with flowers to try to win me back. He expressed his love and started crying. I took him back. Now we're fighting all the time, and I'm wondering if I should break up with him and cancel the trip to New York.BrokenheartedDEAR BROKENHEARTED: I wonder why your boyfriend essentially invited you to catch him cheating. After all, he texted you to meet him at a specific time and place. When you did, he was with someone else. This is the behavior of someone who really, truly wants to be found out.
You two don't seem to communicate well. If you did, your boyfriend would use his words instead of stuttering, and you wouldn't be fighting all the time. Call a "time out" and go to New York, either by yourself or with a friend. Use this time to clear your head and decide if you are prepared to truly forgive him and give him a second chance.
DEAR AMY: Here's another
solution for those who want to curb Christmas gift giving. When my sister announced she was pregnant with my parents' first grandchild, we agreed then to give gifts only to children. This became the tradition as the grandchildren grew up. When that first grandchild graduated from high school, she announced that she was now an adult. The other grandchildren followed suit. This decision turned out to be a blessing. We were freed from the gift-buying frenzy, no one was disappointed by unfulfilled expectations, and we had time to experience the joy of the holiday.Happy Ever After