Bad sports fan cliches
You're passionate about your team. That's good. But when you let your passion cloud your judgment, you can fall into the category of bad sports fan cliches.
Here are some of the most egregious examples of people who take the term "sports fanatic" a little too literally.
What's your least favorite cliche? Vote
10) RASTA WIGS
In the 2001 Jamaican census, 24,020 people identified themselves as Rastafarians (less than 0.0001% of the world's population). Something tells us this guy isn't one of them.
9) CREEPY-LOOKING MASKS OR FACEPAINT*
Masks designed to make you look creepy. . . make you look creepy. This is not good. Leave the "Scream" mask in your closet until Halloween. Thanks.
*Does not apply to Raiders fans.
Here's a rule: If you wear a helmet to a ballgame (whether it's inflatable, plastic or beer), you give us permission to throw popcorn at your head for all nine innings/four quarters.
*Does not apply to Fireman Ed.
7) AFRO WIGS
Not sure how this trend caught on. Silly-looking? Check. Blocks fans behind you? Check. Hot? Sweaty? Itchy? Check, check and check.
6) GIANT HEADS ON STICKS
We were amused the first few times we saw this -- in the 90s when Pacers fans did it to Patrick Ewing while he shot free throws. By now, it's a little old.
5) BALD, PAINTED HEADS
Sitting near a bald-headed guy with his head painted like a giant baseball/helmet doesn't make us want to root for the home team. It makes us wish we'd paid more for our seats.
4) MANGLED JERSEYS
This is something you see most often at hockey games. People love to destroy good jerseys by adding bizarre names or unusual numbers. I know it's tempting, but you must resist the urge to let your husband/wife iron on names and numbers to perfectly good jerseys. We can think of nothing tackier.
3) SHIRTLESS FANS IN COLD WEATHER
In football, if you can show the other guy you're tougher than him, that's half the battle. In the stands, it's meaningless. But hey, he's not wearing a mangled jersey. . .
2) STUPID FAN SIGNS
There are four kinds of signs that really irritate us:
1) "HEY! Put me on TV!" signs -- The only thing that's as bad as lame attempts to get on television is the fact that TV producers apparently love showing them.
2) Signs with spelling/grammar mistakes -- If you don't know the difference between you're and your or its and it's, leave the sign at home and put on a creepy-looking mask. At least everyone around you won't know YOU'RE stupid.
3) Signs that don't make sense -- "Rodgers That"? Leave the wordplay to the experts -- newspaper headline writers!
4) "Priceless" signs -- In the time it took us to read the writing on your sign, we could have gotten up and gotten another beer and hot dog. In fact, that's not a bad idea. . .
1) BRAWLS IN THE STANDS
Is there anything more cliched than brawling sports fans? Every time we see one of those massive soccer brawls with the overwhelmed police in riot gear, it makes us think, "Boy, I can't wait till this sport catches on in America!"