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And the Oscars go to...


Sorry for the delay. Rented a laptop this morning, so I should be good to go now. Anyway...

I missed bits and pieces of the broadcast last night. Thought the whole "Let's make a movie!" premise was forced, but I enjoyed individual performances by Ben Stiller, Tina Fey and Steve Martin and Seth Rogen and James Franco, as well as the winning actors' speeches.

This is our second annual baseball Oscars, if you will. Here is the 2008 version.

Just as last year, we'll present them in the order presented on the broadcast:

Supporting actress: Sports Illustrated's Selena Roberts, who, behind her cover of an accomplished investigative reporter, is apparently a stalker. Was A-Rod watching too much Cinemax late night when he came up with this one?

Original screenplay: Manny Ramirez, for his brilliant, "I know, I'll force my way into free agency via confrontation, fabrication and relaxation!" strategy.

Adapted screenplay: The 2008 Mets, for their remake of the 2007 Mets _ who, in turn, won last year's award in this category for emulating the 1964 Phillies.

Animated feature: Mustache day at Yankee Stadium.

Animated short film: The timeless antics of the Rally Monkey.

Art Direction: The Jackie Robinson Rotunda at Citi Field.

Costume design: The Rays' new nickname and logo worked out pretty well for them.

Makeup: Would it be impolitic to wonder what the heck was going on here (with A-Rod, not with the Watchdog)?

Cinematography: Jerry Manuel. For taking a lackluster, defeated group of ballplayers and making them appear to be a scrappy, happy bunch.

Live Action Short: Joba Chamberlain's first big-league start was, indeed, short.

Supporting Actor: Bud Selig. For his continuing, passionate, delusional claims that he bears no responsibility for the Steroids Era.

(Just like last year, we'll skip the documentaries)

Visual effects: Lou Piniella, who made Kosuke Fukudome disappear in the middle of last year's National League Division Series.

Sound editing: Milton Bradley, for trying to personally edit the comments made about him by a Royals broadcaster.

Sound mixing: Josh Hamilton, for rousing Yankee Stadium with his performance in the Home Run Derby.

Film editing: Joe Torre, for effortlessly turning, "They called him A-Fraud behind his back" to "We jokingly called him A-Fraud, to his face."

Original score: Bernie Madoff, of course.

Original song: What the heck, let's plug Bernie Williams' new album, coming out shortly.

Foreign Language Film: Joe Maddon's 9=8 shtick from last year.

Director: Pat Gillick. For ending his Hall of Fame career with the 2008 Phillies' title.

Actress: Madonna, of course.

Actor: What can I say? Some years, one story dominates the ceremony. Congratulations, A-Rod!

Best Picture: "Tropic Thunder." No great baseball connection - I just thought it was hilarious. Although I could see Tugg Speedman someday starring in "Young, Naive and Stupid: The Alex Rodriguez Story," with Jeff Portnoy as Yuri Sucart.

  • Thanks to the AP for the photo.

    Tags: bernie madoff , bernie williams , tropic thunder , tugg speedman , jeff portnoy , mets , joe torre , jerry manuel , phillies , rays , pat gillick , manny ramirez , rally monkey , joba chamberlain , bud selig , lou piniella , kosuke fukudome , milton bradley , josh hamilton , joe maddon , madonna

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