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McNamee regrets steroid involvement

BY JIM BAUMBACH | jim.baumbach@newsday.com

January 8, 2008

Brian McNamee, breaking his three-week silence, told Newsday yesterday that he made a mistake by getting involved with steroids.

"I should have just given [players] the information and walked away," McNamee said, referring to steroid use. "I crossed the line of what my job was, to protect these guys at all times."

Speaking just minutes before Roger Clemens' news conference, in which the tape of their conversation Friday night was aired, McNamee said that now that everyone knows the truth, courtesy of the Mitchell Report, he hopes something good can come out of it.

During his personal turmoil of the past few weeks, McNamee said he has launched a campaign within his community to talk to kids about steroids and encourage them to take accountability for their mistakes.

"What I'm telling all the kids I've coached, they need not look for a quick fix. There is no such thing," he said. "Anyone I know who has taken steroids, they've all worked hard."

The past few weeks have been incredibly painful for McNamee. He has stayed away from his Breezy Point home, hoping to keep the media frenzy away from his family, neighbors and clients. He is living in a sparsely furnished home in a Long Island town he wouldn't identify and still trains his roster of prospective major-league athletes daily.

Although McNamee refused to discuss the Mitchell Report, he's standing behind the testimony he delivered to former Sen. George Mitchell, whose report was released Dec. 13. But that doesn't mean he feels good about what's happened.

The 40-year-old former Yankees trainer has been peppered with requests from media outlets - some, he said, have offered to pay for his story - but he has chosen to keep a low public profile. Instead, he said he's spent his time reaching out to the people closest to his family.

McNamee said he's been meeting with the parents and kids on the various baseball, soccer and basketball teams he has coached. He said he explains his mistake, why it was important to tell the truth and that this shouldn't taint their view of Clemens and Andy Pettitte. "I tell them I think they should still be a fan of Roger's, and Andy's, and anyone else that has been lumped into this situation, because that's how I feel," he said. "Deep down, these guys weren't looking to cause anyone any harm. They were trying to do the things they could do to be the best they could be at a certain level."

Yesterday was not a good one for McNamee. He awoke to news that Clemens had filed a defamation lawsuit against him, then presumably watched the pitcher's news conference, which included the broadcast of an emotional phone conversation the pair shared last week.

Surely he can't feel good about Clemens, his friend of 10 years, but that doesn't mean youngsters have to feel that way.

"You can be a fan if you were before," he said. "Everyone makes mistakes, including me. I've made many. But you learn from them. The smartest people, the richest people, the most accomplished people, they're only that way because they learned from their mistakes."