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NCAA Tournament guide for dummies

Barbara Barker

March 19, 2008

OK, I admit my husband and I have this Oscar-Felix thing going.

While I've spent the greater chunk of my career covering professional and college basketball, he knows nothing about the sport. In fact, he knows nothing about sports at all. Zip. Zero. Nada.

For the most part, this has not been a problem. Many couples have divergent interests. For example, I think it is safe to say that it wasn't his wife's vast knowledge of foreign policy that first attracted John McCain to Cindy. So why should I care that my husband thinks Lute Olson is a Scandinavian wind instrument?

But this time of year, it does begin to frustrate us that my husband lingered a little too long at the mastering-dead-languages table when the sports-spectator gene was being passed out. And that is because once again, everyone in his office has asked him to fill out an NCAA Tournament pool sheet.

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For the past 10 years, I've dutifully done it for him. And then I've coached him on how to say intelligent-sounding things like -- how about that Weber State? -- when someone brings up the tournament at an important client meeting.

This time, I've decided to go one better. Not only do I want to help my sports-challenged husband, but I'd like to reach out to the rest of you who know and care about someone who is a hoops illiterate. That's right, there is no more need for suffering in silence next time some co-worker drones on and on about the Big Sky Conference, no more humiliating long pauses when your boss asks you your Final Four teams.

Just check out my picks for this year's tournament. But more importantly, check out these talking points that should help you fake some hoops savvy person, and might actually get you to check out a game or two or the next couple of weeks.

EAST REGIONAL

What to pick: North Carolina defeats Tennessee to go to the Final Four. (Final Four is a commonly used trademarked term that refers to the last four teams left in the tournament).

What to watch: First-round game between Indiana and Arkansas. Hoosiers coach Dan Dakich is the David Paterson of college basketball. In other words, Dakich would still be charting shots from the bench if it hadn't been for the scandalous resignation of coach Kelvin Sampson last month. Sampson was forced to step down after he was caught cheating -- not on his wife but on his NCAA recruiting brethren -- and the resulting turmoil has caused what was a 22-4 team to go 3-3 under Dakich. Here's hoping Gov. Paterson has an easier time.

What to say: "Wouldn't it be cool if Bobby Knight came back to Indiana? Not."

MIDWEST REGIONAL

What to pick: Kansas over Wisconsin in the regional final. You risk the wrath of psycho Georgetown fans in your office, but everyone else who watched the Big East tournament will respect your reasoning.

What to watch: Kansas' march through the bracket. This is the 20th anniversary of the Jayhawks' last NCAA championship. A lot has changed since Larry Brown coached Danny Manning and a bunch of guys you never hear of to that title, but at least one thing in Kansas is a throwback to earlier times -- this is not a team where underclassman dominate. The Jayhawks have no freshman starters and only one in their regular rotation.

What to say: "How about that Davidson team?"

SOUTH REGIONAL

What to pick: Texas over Memphis in the regional final.

What to watch: Cornell vs. Stanford, at a sports bar if you are looking to meet someone with good career prospects. Suffice it to say, the game will set a new Nielsen mark for viewership with the highest average SAT score. Stanford has plenty of NCAA experience while Cornell is the first Ivy League team not named Penn or Princeton to go to the tourney since 1988.

What not to say: "Why do all the good teams have so many freshman and sophomores?"

WEST REGIONAL

What to pick: UCLA over Duke in the regional final.

What to watch: Kevin Love. Not only does the baby Bruin have great all-around shooting skills for a big man, but he also has a cool pedigree. Father, Stan, played four years in the , while uncle Mike is the longtime lead singer of the Beach Boys.

What to watch II: First-round game between Xavier and Georgia. Though Xavier is the much higher seed, it's hard not to root for the Bulldogs after everything they've been through. Georgia, which won only four games in the Southeast Conference regular season, won the conference tournament and had to play twice in one day after bad weather damaged the Georgia Dome, forcing games to be moved to Georgia Tech.

What not to say: "Is this UCLA's first trip to the Final Four?"

SEMIFINALS

Kansas over North Carolina

UCLA over Texas

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

Kansas over UCLA