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Cubs in first? Has the world gone crazy?

Barbara Barker

2:16 PM EDT, June 2, 2008

Has the world gone mad? Or do I just need reading glasses?

That's how I felt this morning when I fired up the computer and saw something that I never thought I would live to see: The Cubs are entering June with the best record in all of baseball.

Yes, I know the Cubs have been on a hot streak, completing a four-game sweep of the Rockies over the weekend. But who would have thought at the start of the season that two months into the season, they would have eight more wins than the Mets?

To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, there are supposed to be a handful of things that you can count on in life: Death, taxes and the fact the Cubs will come up short.

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Though I'd much prefer a headline that said someone had invented a live-forever pill, this is fairly incredible news. That's because the Cubs haven't entered June with the best record in baseball since 1908 - the same year they last won the World Series.

This 100-year cold streak makes even the curse of the Bambino look relatively benign. And, as a big fan of underdogs and symmetry, part of me wouldn't mind seeing the Cubs win it all on the 100-year anniversary of their last championship.

Yet, before I pull on my Tinker-to-Evers-to-Chance T-shirt, part of me isn't so sure I want to see the Cubs go all the way. And part of me is fairly sure that something will go wrong, and they won't. I mean, if the Cubs do it, what sure things in life, and in sports, will be left? Here are a few things that I find just as likely.

If the Cubs win the World Series ...

1. Eddy Curry will lead the Knicks to a NBA title, limping out of the tunnel to play in the decisive game.

2. Bill Parcells, wearing a pink sequined cummerbund, will win "Dancing with the Stars."

3. Ozzie Guillen will become a spokesman for the National Education Foundation's "Dare not to Swear" program.

4. Kobe Bryant will thank former teammate Shaquille O'Neal when he wins the NBA Finals Most Valuable Player trophy.

5. The Jets will make the playoffs.

6. The Jets will play the Giants in the Super Bowl.

7. The Jets will win.

8. St. John's will win the Big East in men's basketball.

9. Sean Avery, fresh off his internship at Vogue Magazine, will admit he shops at Wal-Mart.