The best of Chael Sonnen
A roundup of some of the best quotes offered by UFC fighter Chael Sonnen during interviews and TV spots across the MMA media landscape.
"I actually held public office and I left the only way a person should -- in handcuffs."
"He's got a black belt under the Nogueira brothers. I think a black belt under the Nogueira brothers is like saying I got a free toy in my Happy Meal."
"I'm sore, tired, under the weather, overtrained, under-motivated and still tough enough to beat this guy."
"I was in Las Vegas when the Nogueira brothers first touched down in America.There was a bus, this is a true story. There was a bus that pulled up to a red light, and Little Nog tried to feed it a carrot, while Big Nog was petting it. He thought it was a horse. This really happened. He tried to feed a bus a carrot, and now you're telling me this country has computers? I didn't know that!"
"'I'm Brock Lesnar, I'm Brock Lesnar, I got this $5 haircut and a knife tattooed on my chest.' Well, I'll shove it up your face if you get in Chael Sonnen's way."
"Maybe you could Vitor a couple of messages for me. If my name comes out of his mouth again, I will bury him where he stands. And second off, tell Vitor to meet me at the hotel in 30 minutes because daddy has a plane to catch and I?m summonsing him to carry my luggage."
"Wanderlei, you are an immigrant from Brazil. I am a gangster from America. Are you sure you wanna play that game with me? Listen Wanderlei, I will do a home invasion on you. I will cut the power to your house and the next thing you'll hear is me climbing up your stairs in a pair of night vision goggles I bought in the back of Soldier of Fortune magazine. I'll pick the lock to the master room door, take a picture of you in bed with the Nogueira brothers working on your "jiu-jitsu". I'll take said quote unquote photograph, post it at www.dorksfrombrazil.com, password - not required, username - not required. That, Wanderlei, is how you threaten someone. Dummy."
"You know, these guys want to talk about God. 'Oh, I want to thank God. I want to thank God.' Listen, I'm a God-fearing man, go to church every Sunday and have since I was a boy. But if I ever found out that God cared one way or another about a borderline illegal fist-fight on Saturday night, I would be so greatly disappointed that it would make rethink my entire belief system."
"Me taking on a mop and a garbage can would be a more interesting fight than those two [GSP and Anderson Silva]."
"Then Anderson's a big bully ya know. He goes out and says, just ridiculous things, like he challenges Frank Mir to a fight. He's not qualified to make Frank Mir a sandwich..."
"I hear guys talk about game plans and footwork and strategy with their coaches and their gold teeth and their eighth-grade educations. I don't care about any of that. Mark Munoz is going to find out -- and I do like him -- but never -- -- off a gangster."
"I think everyone up here is grateful to be on Fox. They would probably say 'Fox thanks'. Everybody but me. I would say 'Fox, you're welcome.' You've been telling everybody for years you've got the American Idol, and now you finally do."
"If Jon Jones, a potted cactus, and a slice of pizza from my oven were all on Jeopardy, Jon Jones would not make the final round."
"Hey Rampage, why don't you stick to making box office disasters and driving the wrong way down the freeway while you're jacked up on Mountain Dew because, you 'Page, are not on my level."