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Modeling swimwear for Sports Illustrated swimsuit models

"This is very adorable," said Anne V, a $14 million diamond necklace draped below her exquisite Russian visage. "I'm very happy."

She smiled, winked, nodded and made a little clicking sound.

"I like that!" exclaimed Meghan White, a New England Patriots cheerleader. "It's unbelievable."

I had long thought that I was alone in considering my faded, cornflower-blue swim trunks hot...

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